Need To Rant

[boona]

So, I am a single parent (widowed) I have one daughter who is almost nine. I do not drink or smoke and my social life is pretty non existent mainly due to lack of any childcare in the evenings. I have always put my daughter's needs before myself, I work part time so even though I do not have a lot of money I have a little money left each month which I put aside to save. My problem is my mum. Every year I manage to afford a little break for myself and my girl. I save up and we go away for a few days. I mentioned that I am going away to London for a few days for my 50th with a couple of friends. I am taking my daughter, we are going to watch a show etc. My mum thinks this is a bad idea and that I should be saving the money instead. It is not for two years and we are going to book everything early to get better prices for the hotel and trains. She actually said the friends that I am going with should be paying for me because they have got more money!!! She said I should just go out and have a cheap meal like normal people do....

[Mamyalynne]

Mum may mean well in her own way but quietly and calmly say 'Thanks Mum but that's how I'm celebrating my 50th ' - smile and offer a cuppa.

[Flonska]

If this is out of character, perhaps your mum was planning a "surprise" treat for your 50th and you have somewhat thwarted her endeavours? Why not have a quiet chat with her to find out the reason for her questioning your suggestion?

[Guilbert53]

She said..She said..She said.......

Tell her to mind her own business.

[boona]

It's not out of character, she complains whenever I spend money. If I buy anything new she asks how I can afford it!!

[ToraToraTora]

go, ignore mum.

[ummmm]

You only live once. Enjoy it.

[zebo]

I would question everything she buys too!

[boona]

I think this is the problem, she doesn't buy anything. If she does it is second hand. She watches every penny. She has money but chooses not to spend it she leaves it sitting in the bank. I think she wants me to be the same. I am good with money, I wouldn't spend a penny if I couldn't afford it.

[ummmm]

Boona....don't tell her about your plans.

[IJKLM]

Something along the lines of...

I know you care for me, Mum. I know you want to be sure I don't run out of money. I really appreciate how much you show that you are concerned for me and your grand-daughter.
My life is not always easy, and sometimes, just once in a while, I want to build some good memories with my daughter, so that she can share them with you.
Please, let me build those memories without having them tainted by having a disagreement with you over this. It's something I'm going to do. I'm doing it for her, and I'm also doing it for me, because it is my 50th birthday and i want to have some positive memories.

[albaqwerty]

Whilst there is nothing wrong with second-hand or re-conditioned, if you save up to pay for something, it's a great feeling.

Your mum couldn't get a hotel room or see a show second-hand, so you go and enjoy yourself.

Oh, and next time she comments on you buying something new, tell her you have a sugar-daddy ;-))

[boona]

I won't mention the £500 spending money that I am currently saving to take just in case I fancy a few treats ..

[spathiphyllum]

“Normal people” don’t exist, do what makes you, you

[gingejbee]

A good adage to use is...."when it's your money I'm spending, you can have a say. Otherwise, I decide!"

[Patsy33]

If you never do anything with your money, it must make you very boring and miserable. You carry on and save what you can for your 50th!

[EDDIE51]

'Being careful with money' was drilled into most of us who were born in the 50/60s.It is because our parents had so little. But your Mum is 'out of order' to say what she did. Just go ahead and have a good time.Everyone deserves 'something special' for a 'Big' birthday like your 50th. (especially someone who has been as 'careful' as you). Your Mum means well but she is being VERY unfair. I suspect she is jealous. I am very sure that what you are doing is wonderful for your child .

[dance2trance]

If I were an unjust person I would say your mother is a drag and a bore and a wet blanket and self obsessed and unhelpful and unco-operative and an enemy to life but I am not so I will not. Love life and laughter is all I believe. So go girl you go.

[AuntLydia]

You are nearly 50.Your mother is trying to control you and make you feel guilty (believe me I've been there). You have every right to spend your money how you like and maybe now is the time to tell her so. I admire you for saving up to do something special please don't let her spoil your day.

[jno]

what ummmm says... sharing information only gets you into trouble, so keep it to yourself.

[Old_Geezer]

Your life, your decision. Saving money's good, but you only get one 50th., max.