access to see my baby

[yummy_mummy]

my husband had kicked me out and we have been separated for over nine weeks now and we have a little one and he is only 10 weeks.
my problem is that my husband hasnt seen him for nine weeks not that i have stopped him, its because he himself has refused to come. i stayed at my mums house and waited three weeks for him to come but he didnt and he just lived round the corner. after waiting i went to london to stay at my grans because i was getting depression. There i contacted him but he said he didnt want to take responsibility and didnt contact me. i stayed there for 6-7 weeks. whilst i was there my mum recieved a letter from the solicitors saying that i had refused him to see his son and that he wants to take the baby every saturday 11-2pm. i came back last week. now i dont want him to take baby to his house because i dont trust him and he has anger issues. he only wants to take him so he can show baby to his family..
he isnt really interested in baby, if he was really bothered he would have gave me some sort of maintenance for baby as i was skint and had no benefits on my name. he had also taken babys 500 surestart maternity grant and when i asked for it he said no. and he would have made some efforts to come to an agreement to see baby or to take us back home but he didnt and never made any attempts for a reconcilliation or showed any interest in baby.
however i dont want to deny him seeing his son..
are there any other ways he can see him but not take him home as i dont want baby to be on his own without me??

[LoftyLottie]

Yes there are ways. What I would suggest is that you contact your local citizens advice bureau urgently and take some advice on this. There are people out there that can help you. Someone on here might know a bit more than I do.

Your first priority as you seem to indicate is your baby, so well done. I hope things work out for you.

[Bbbananas]

Charming man.... not.
I agree with Lottie... go to your local CAB or even to your health visitor at your GP surgery. Just to and see someone...

Kicked you out when the baby was less than a week old? Took the maternity grant?

What are his family like?

[yummy_mummy]

thanks for your answers. i told my hv and gp and both have told me to go through with a solicitor.
sallabananas you really do NOT want to know. All i can say im glad im out of there xxx

[Bbbananas]

It certainly sounds so.
Go to a solicitor, you should be able to get free advice, or whatever today's equivalent of Legal Aid is....
Don;t hesitate.

[chelle7272]

yes good advice given above. I would make a list of reasons why you would prefer him not to be alone with him, details of the anger issues you refer to and how he taken the money, and anything else relevant. Check with your citizens advice if there are any free legal services you access (some do so many hours for free per person) as they could write to him explaining your reasons and that you would be very prepare to arrange supervised access for him. Then you have evidence should he want to take it further, that you have made efforts to sort this out and have not tried to stop him seeing his child.
And i agree with salla, talks things over with a health visitor as they have experienced situations like this before and can help you access advice and look after yourself as you seem to be having a bad time of it lately

Good luck x

[LoftyLottie]

Have a look through this website.

http://www.direct.gov...=Google_PPC&cre=Money


It will tell you how to calculate legal aid and also give you a list of places you can go in your area. I would contact your local CAB and social services before seeing a solicitor in case you get involved in solicitors charges that can't be reclaimed. Most good solicitors will give you a half hour free appointment.

Please go tomorrow.

Good luck.

[looby1914]

Talk to a solicitor you may be able to get supervised access at a contact centre or if you have a mutual family member or friend thats inpartial that you could take the baby too and whilst the child is there its father could go and see him. But make sure its fully agreed through solicitors for safety etc. Good Luck

[Androcles]

You make him sound a nasty bit of work, but he kicked you out, rather than you left him - why did he do that? Clearly the advice the others have given you is good advice and you should take it, but it would be interesting to hear his side of the story for him to take action like that just apparently a week after the baby's birth and already to have a solicitor involved.

I hope that you can get the situation resolved, good luck!

[billybunny]

You dont need to get Social Services involved at all. Go to a local solicitor and get a free half hour consultation. If you are on a low income then chances are you may be entitled to Legal Help. Im sure your solicitor will advise you that you dont have to let him take the baby if you dont think that this is in the baby's best interest, if you are concerned about his temper etc then stick by your guns and say he can see the baby but you or a person of your choosing will supervise his contact. If he wont agree to that then offer contact at a Contact Centre. Your solicitor can refer you to one.

[yummy_mummy]

Vibrasphere i dont want him to take baby to his mothers home where he lives.

I have contacted the solicitors today and the earliest day i can get is tuesday.
the sure start was paid in his account because i was on a joint benefit on his name as i had no benefits whatsoever.he said he would give it to me when we were together but when it did come he changed his mind. can i get the money off of him?

[chelle7272]

If you have the baby in your care you should be entitiled to the surestart money although I wouldn't know how you would go about getting it back. Raise it when you see the solicitor

[karenmac60]

You could try contacting some sort of mediation service - I had a quick look and found these people

http://www.nfm.org.uk/index.php?page=Home

[tamborine]

This baby is too young to be separated from its mother. Ring the police, tell them you're part breast feeding and that your husband has abducted your baby.

Tell the police of him taking your money and his anger issues.

[yummy_mummy]

Eddie you are spot on. when his mum rang my gran saying her son wants to see the baby and that they want to bring him home my gran said to her to take me back too but she turned around and said we'll get baby through court. she was the first one to mention it. so yeah shes his driving force which is a shame because he;s 26 next month, he should be thinking for himself.

[chelle7272]

26! I admit by your description of his behaviour I thought he was much younger. Good luck with the solicitors on Tuesday, I hope you will feel better after discussing it with them