Tantrums

[ashaver]

What should I do when my ten month old baby throws mini tantrums ex. throwing toys, hitting, or smacking things out of her way?

[andy hughes]

If she is throwing things, pick up the item, show it to her and say "No!" in a firm voice. If she is hitting you, tap her smartly on the fingers each time she does it - she will learn that this unacceptable behaviour results in punishment - the beginnings of discipline.

[SGKelloe32]

I tried tapping my daughter lightly on the hand when she was this age, unfortunately to no avail, as she just found this amusing (as she was still gaining my attention).

Eventually I realised that by ignoring her tantrums and letting her throw her wobblers until she got fed up and realised she wasn’t getting my attention worked, after a few minutes she completely forgot what her tantrum was for and calmed down, this still works now and she is nearly 2!

[silly moo]

What do you do when the tantrum of a 2 - 3 yr old is in a shop, park , on a pavement etc.?
You cannot ignore then.

[kick3m0n]

When our wee guy does this, we find ignoring him works best.  He had a bad habit for a while when he was about your baby's age of trying to hit his head off the ground, and sometimes now he will lash out or throw things. If he tries to hit anyone (or throw things) he gets a very stern "No!". If he's tantrumming (sp?), I take whatever he has in his hands away (to prevent anymore throwing) then lie him down somewhere safe (usually on the floor) and let him get on with it.  If his dad and I start talking, or start doing some chores etc, he comes out of it pretty quickly, as he has no audience and his behaviour is not having the desired affect, just as SGKelloe points out. As soon as he is calm he gets full attention again, and we carry on as if it never happened. Charlie is 18months old. - works a treat, he's throwing things in anger far less now, tho of course tantrums are still pretty normal behaviour for an exasperated baby/toddler.  Good luck. xx

[kick3m0n]

silly moo - fortunately we've not enmcountered outdoor performances yet. What do you do?  I think I would still try the ignoring technique if it were possible, but on a pavement etc that maybe difficult due to danger of road etc.  I just don't want to be the parent who is dragging their screaming child along the roadside/thru the park and I'm not a smacker.  So, even if folk will think I'm mad, I will try to just sit/lay him down and get it out of his system.  Even if it means I just stand beside him and make a big show of rummaging in my bag, reading the paper etc. LOL..... I'm re-reading this and laughing....pre Charlie, if I'd read my own post, I'd have thought "Hippy minded softee parent.  Give the brat a smack and get on with it."  How times change!

[SGKelloe32]

My daughter sometimes lies on the floorwhen we are out, i laugh at her and tell her she looks silly on the floor and turnas if i am going to walk away, she sharpjumps up and follows me!

[Hammer]

You can still ignore them in public. Ignore the reactions of passers-by who look at you like you are a piece of dirt, she is your child and you must do what it takes to teach her how to behave.

Distraction is also a good tip - when she throws a wobbler, or preferably just before, enthusiastically point out a passing lorry, or bird, or dog, or whatever interests her and you should nip it in the bud.

Ignoring is also a good one. Laying on the floor in the middle of Tesco's when mummy is in the next aisle is not much fun. Doing it while mummy is desperately pleading with you to get up and stop embarassing her is an absolute blast!

[nrmatth]

this is a good time to start training them about being sent to their room. both my kids learned when they were one. You just tell them that's no-no, go to your room. and physically pick them up and put them on the floor in their room (or any safe room, that they can be unsupervised in) and shut the door. when they stop screaming, even just for a split second then let them out and ask if they can be good now. They tend to go right back to what they were doing so it may take a couple of times at first. My son took three times his first time at twelve months, and the rest of that same day if you said do you want to go to your room? he was good right away. And now all you have to do is point in the direction of his room and he stomps off in their in a huff, and he doesn't hardly cry because he knows he can get out sooner then. and since he still takes naps sometimes he'll decide to sleep during this quiet time. It's sounds harsh when their this young but trust me, overstimulation,frustration, sleepiness, and new independent feelings are making your almost one year old need the time when their naughty in a quiet room. It helps them learn to collect themselves when they feel this way and gives the time to re collect themselves or relax. My kids still go into their rooms by themselves when we make them mad.and they usually don't come out until they've forgotten what they're mad about.

[Robinia]

I totally agree with all those who say ignore a tantrum & then do the distraction thing.

I'll never forget my youngest son having a massive screaming/going rigid tantrum on a crowded bus as we waited to leave the bus station. I was very young & rather embarrassed but I just ignored him & rummaged through my shopping. A woman opposite tutted very loudly & said she was going to the upper deck but suddenly a voice called out from behind me 'What's up with her then? Never had any kids?'  Everyone laughed & started chatting - made me feel so much better & hey presto, baby stopped screaming!  Happy (?)days!

[Otrere]

I ignore any tantrums. So long as my 28 month old daughter is not in danger then I turn my back on her. Otherwise I remove her from the danger and when she has calmed down I explain to her the dangers and try to tell her I understand she is angry but.....

I also make a point of rewarding positive and good behaviour with lots of attention, cuddles and ensure that she knows how much I love her.

Kids do things for attention - if they get attention for good behaviour, they're going to continue to be good to get attention. Hope that makes sense and doesn't sound patronising.

I'm all for positive parenting. I believe it really works as my daughter, for the most part, is a helpful, well behaved and happy, healthy little girl.

[silly moo]

I also used to send my girls to their rooms. Must admit though that as they got a little older that was no longer a punishment. The eldest loved to sit and play or read on her own , and the youngest would just go to sleep. We always joked that she could sleep if pegged out on the washing line!
(In fact at the age of 25 she can and does sleep as much as possible anywhere)
It was suggested to me that we try sitting our daughters on the stairs. The bottom stair to begin with and then half way up as they were older. That did work as there really is nothing you can do when half way up the stairs. After a couple of minutes they would come and say sorry for whatever behaviour they were being punished for.

[Scarlett]

For the first time ever I disagree with Andy! Surely if a little child is throwing things or hitting out, smacking (or tapping) them back is just doing the bad thing back. I feel that ignoring tantrums is the best bet.

[netibiza]

 

sillymoo if a child is having an outdoor (or supermarket) tantrum just stand near them and ignore them - its embarrassing I know but the child will one day get the message, AND DON'T BUY THEM THAT SWEETIE ,

[crisgal]

i agree with the ignoring thing - but i think you have to make sure they know you're ignoring them - if that makes sense. I went on a course called "Encouraging positive behaviour in the under fives" and it was basically what everyone has already said. A good tip was to physically turn your eyes to something else, or even turn your body away so that you have your back to them. Believe me, this works a treat at our pre-school. The child cannot STAND you turning away and will stop whatever they were doing.

When my three year old was about 18 months, she used to delight in standing in front of the telly whenever her 8 year old brother was watching something - because we thought it funny and quite cute the first time, she kept on doing it. When she did it during coronation street, i realised that something had to be done! We tried the eye thing and as soon as she stood in front of the t.v. we didn't say anything we just looked up at the ceiling or at something on the other side of the room. It was quite remarkable how quickly she stopped!!

You can try this with your partner - while they are talking to you, look away, or better still turn your body to the side - it's INFURIATING!!

[GREENEEYESS7]

When a child throws a tattrum i simply ignore it the child is looking for attention towards his or her bad behavior and if you show no reaction the child will stop! It will take a while but it works!