In The Pub.

[EDDIE51]

I man goes up to the bar and orders a pint of Bitter. He takes one sip ,spits it out, shouts '***' slams down the glass and walks out. The next day he does exactly the same again . The third day and the landlord has had enough. As the man walks up to the bar the landlord looks at him and shouts ''*** off''
''Good'' replies the man ''Give me a Guiness ''

[EDDIE51]

^ swear censor made nonsense of that ,missing word starts with P and rhymes with Bliss.

[nescio]

Haha Eddie
Love it!

[Patsy33]

Lol!

[Tilly2]

Patsy, that baby looks just like Nom's!

[Chipchopper]

I P-A ?

[gulliver1]

His brother walked into the same bar next day, started drinking his pint ,
Landlord said looks like rain, customer said Tastes like it too.

[gulliver1]

After how many pints, chippy.

[EDDIE51]

The last landlord of my 'Local' (before it was sold to build a block of flats) was called I P Freshwater . I kid you not.
( Ian Peter Freshwater) He had a big cartoon drawing of him peeing into a beer barrel ,on the wall of the bar.

[gulliver1]

PMSL.

[zebo]

I recall being mortified when future OH, somewhat the worse for wear, was thrown out of a pub, a Leeds brewery, when he said to the landlord, I've drunk the p***, can I go and stroke the cow.

[Patsy33]

I went into my local and ordered a strong dark beer. I was waiting for ages, when all of a sudden the barman pops up and says, "Your stout" Annoyed, I replied, "You're not so slim your ruddy self!"

[Chipchopper]

I told the landlord that his beer was like having sex in a boat.

"Hows that, he replied" ?.

Well, I said: "Its ****ing close to water"

[gulliver1]

often used to chuckle when a friend of mine from Pune, used ask for a Indian Pale Ale.