I don't "love" the EU, I just think our future would have been far better served by staying a member. Events in the last two years seem rather to justify that belief.
But there is no third party here: the RoI is not a separate country that no-one cares about, and your rather dismissive attitude to it is sad to see.
The simple fact is that leaving the EU requires introducing a hard border on the island of Ireland, *or* the UK staying in a Customs Union, *or* some as yet impractical solution involving technology that either doesn't exist or isn't ready yet. But it's a problem of our own making -- or, more accurately, of yours, since of the two of us I'm not the one who voted to create this mess.