problem shared

[4getmenot]

Yesterday I was reading the paper and there's a section called problem shared where readers write in with a problem and other readers are given the chance to reply. Anyway the problem the reader had was she wanted a baby but her husband didn't. And the top letter was this � 'I think she should go ahead and get pregnant and then pretend it was an accident. He cannot blame her and I don't imagine he will force her into an abortion. He'll come round to the idea in time. A lot of men say they're not interested in having kids but when one comes along they often become a doting dad'. And she goes on to say she did this and he now adores their son. I was appalled this letter won �20.00. This is so wrong to trap a bloke into having a kid by pretending it was an accident. What do you reckon?

[Champagne]

Hmmm� that�s a whole other moral issue I�m afraid, 4getmenot. My personal opinion would be to say no. If a woman decides to use such extreme measures in such a deceitful way then she should pay the consequences. As I said before, I think there should be a law against it. But then as you said, how would you prove it? After all, most women who do this sort of thing are hardly going to tell the man about it, are they?

[4getmenot]

see thats a difficult one. I'd say if they stayed together he cant have been that against having children, so not really trapping a man who doesnt want them. But the letter the reader sent the husband didnt want children so therefore why should he change his mind.

[Pippa68]

I thought exactly the same thing, 4getmenot! I was totally appalled that the letter won �20.

I accidently fell pregnant (yes it really was an accident!) and as I had only been with Mr P for about 18 months I was terrified that we weren't ready and he would think I was 'trapping' him. As it happens, he was thrilled...but if I had done it on purpose I am not sure I could live with the guilt ~ or the idea that he only stuck by me because I was pregnant.

[Pippa68]

What also concerns me is that women can do this and insist on maintenance for the child if they split up because of the pregnancy.

I would advise any man who isn't ready for a child to wear that condom!!

[redcrx]

hi pippa,
my son was an accident. We had only been seing each other 3 months when i found out i was expecting. Mind you we had been planning to start trying after 6 months and had already set our minds on that so i didnt feel too guilty.

[4getmenot]

I tell you what theres gonna be a good programme tonight that will cover alot of these issues called Pram Face. about young single mothers. am gonna be watching that.

[redcrx]

It looks interesting doesnt it. It looks like it may point out to young girls who are considering getting pregnant and living off the state that its not an easy life but very hard indeed.

[4getmenot]

Pippa if I could give you four stars for your last comment I would. Its all very well to say a woman shouldn�t trap a man but I agree if the man definitely doesn�t want children then where a condom. Blokes rely too much on a women nowadays to take the pill, then complain when they end up with a baby they don�t want.

[4getmenot]

*wear*