A man appeared before St Peter at the pearly gates.
Have you done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asked.
"Well I can think of one thing" the man offered. "Once on a trip in the Black Hills out in South Dakota I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed the to leave her alone but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over and ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground" I yelled, "now back off or you'll answer to me!"