My friend has just told me

[harold&maude]

he may be going on holiday with a ex girlfriend who dumped him for someone else. She is not interested in him in a romantic way but they have remained friends. He was REALLY into her, and I don't believe for a second that he won't get his feelings hurt badly if he goes away with her as her companion. I have told him what I think, but he won't listen. I feel very angry that she could get his hopes up again like this. What can I do?

[sft42]

Mind your own business....there is nothing to say that they might not end up back together.....If you are a friend then just be there should anything bad happen.

[kags]

I agree with sft42, you have to let him go, and be prepared to be there for him if it all goes wrong - and don't ever say "I told you so", he will resent you for it. You also have to be happy for him if it all turns out well. There is nothing to stop you having a heart to heart with him though and encouraging him to talk about his true feelings, he may have doubts and reservations himself but he may be reluctant to air them if he thinks you are going to jump, on them and try to talk him out of it. Keep your anger to yourself, you may be wrong.

[Lotus]

I would sign my name under both these answers - if youre a friend, and you care, just let him know that although you have reservations about his actions, if its what he wants, youre there to support him. Especially as its a 'he' - they dont really like being told they're wrong..its a man thing, I think :) Especially as kags said, if he is having reservations himself. Just let him know youre there to give support, and nothing else - unless he asks. I know youre worried about your friend getting hurt, but the best thing you can do for him is let him know youre there :))

[Azimov]

I suspect he already knows what a bad idea it is going off with her and has chosen to do it anyway. He has chosen to take the risk knowing full well that he might be in for a huge letdown. It's not that he is ignoring your advice it's just that he has to follow his own path even if it leads to heartbreak. He knows who his friends are, he knows that you'll be there for him but he also knows that even if he loses everything, including your friendship, it would be worth it to find the one thing he needs more than anything else! You may be his friend but you are also half of a partnership and as such can never really relate to him on an equal level. Let him make his mistake then be a shoulder to cry on even if he ignored everything you said. When it all goes pear shaped you can cheer him up by saying... "At least you got your nuts though didn't you?"

[harold&maude]

Azimov, I think you're right. I know it doesn't do any good me telling him he's being a fool, but I feel I shouldn't shield him from my opinion. She is just using him, now it hasn't worked out with this other bloke, she's falling back on him. He is her second best, and when someone 'better' (to her) comes along, she will drop him again. She likes 'bad' boys, he is not one, so he will NEVER satisfy her and will only ever be there to fill in until her next big love. I think as you say he knows this on some level, but also I know he believes she will have a change of heart and realise she is being an idiot. This just isn't going to happen, sexual attraction is not that rational! I just hate the thought of her abandoning him for some bloke whilst they are on holiday. Or worse, not meeting anyone 'better' for another year or so and utterly breaking his heart!

[gnasher]

nosey parker !

[haha]

I agree with the rest, stay out of it. Work on your own control issues and your own self. Seems like you care to much abuot your friend which actually is a sign of control isses and misunderstanding control for concern. Your friend will live his life as he wants and like all of us will learn faster from his mistakes when he makes them himself. No one wants a friend to butt in to their personal things unless your friend is sucidal or dangerous.