Dad Joke Of The Day

[Hopkirk]

My wife left me because of my gambling addiction, but I know I can win her back

[Patsy33]

I wouldn't bet on it..

[Arksided]

What about the rest of her.

[Ken4155]

Don't worry, she'll be back by five to two.

[Chipchopper]

The odds are in your favour, but it's a bit of a toss up, really.

[Hopkirk]

Do you want to bet that I can get her back?

[Spicerack]

Try doing her each way.

[Ken4155]

^
That's just rude, Spice. You should know better.

[Ken4155]

I can see you're upset, do you need a 'tissue'? What you need to do is roll your sleeve 'up the arm', 'lay' a new 'carpet' in the living room - if that don't work, lay a 'double-carpet' - be 'straight up' with her, tell her you'll quit the gambling and give her whatever odds she wants on you actually doing so. Be prepared for a bit of shouting in you 'ear-ole', maybe even a slap in the 'face'. If you do decide to gamble again, make sure you've got some suitable 'headgear' for when she gives you a 'double tap' on 'the top of the head' with a 'bottle'.
If you don't follow my advice, all bets are off.

[mallyh]

play her a few abba songs ....the winner takes it all .....money money money etc

[Spicerack]

She's got a nerve. It was nag, nag, nag with her as well.