Reminds me of this whimsy:,
A man was invited to a fancy dress party, and decided to go as Adam...
...So he phoned a costume hire shop and asked to rent a fig leaf. A few days later, the said fig leaf arrived, and he tried it on, but as he was fairly well endowed, it didn't quite cover things up, so he sent it back with a note explaining the situation. A day or so later another, larger, fig leaf arrived, but again, it didn't keep things out of sight, so he sent it back. The next day another, even larger fig leaf arrived, again, no joy. Or too much. Your call. So he sent it back. The next day he got an envelope with a brief note from the costumiers:-
"That was the largest we have in stock. We suggest paint the object black, stick it in your ear, and say you're a petrol pump"