And There's More

[Rondy]

I've finally found the courage to open the first door on my Oscar Pistorius advent calendar!

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My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage…
I take that as a compliment!

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I've applied for a job working in a mirror factory ,it's the kind of job I can see myself doing.

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Took my first step towards a divorce.
Just got married.

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I recently went for an interview.

The hiring manager told me, “We’re looking for some who’s responsible “.
I told him, “Then I’m your man.
At my last job , any time something went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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The fishmonger’s has had a complete makeover- they‘ve totally gutted the plaice.

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My cousin, Mary-Lea, is slightly deaf, so I'm buying her a a doorbell with an 'extra loud' setting, for Christmas.
Then I can ding-dong Mary-Lea on high.

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So I was at the bus stop this morning and an elderly lady said to me: “Isn’t it cold today?”
I said: “Yes, winter draws on”.
She replied: “Mind your own business young man!”

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[Patsy33]

😁😆

[Canary42]

That last one is prehistoric !

 

I like the others tho'.😀   😀   😀   😀   😀   😀