Touchy / Feely

[BigDogsWang]

Following on from some of the gay references on here, there's a guy at work who talks very effeminately, and is always 'touching' people (both men and women), or coming up behind people and rubbing their shoulders as he talks to them (me included). The thing is, he is married, with children, and is always going on about women in a sexist way.

Do you think he is covering up for himself, and that secretly he really does bat for the other team, or do you think he just likes to be touchy.

Which ever, if he does it to me again, I'll ******* lamp him.

[saxy_jag]

Not saying he's doing it, but there are some men who pretend to be gay so that women will be their friends.

And the fact that he talks effeminately doesn't mean anything. You don't say how old he is, but I've known a few older men who behave like this (because it's often to do with how they were brought up) and whilst it might be creepy, they don't mean any harm - they just don't understand how uncomfortable they make people feel.

Whether he's straight, gay, bisexual or otherwise, if you really don't like the way he touches you, then just say so quietly and politely. Something like, "Please don't take this personally, but I'm really not comfortable with people putting their hand on my shoulders like that. I'd prefer if you didn't do it." Try to get other people to respond in the same way.

Then if he does it again, you have good reason to speak to your manager about him.

[makemesmile]

Some people just are the way they are, it has nothing to do with their sexual orientation. They're just not living up to our idea of what a 'red blooded male' should be like. And so it that their problem or ours?

But going back to your situation, I too would find that uncomfortable and unecessary, saxy_jag's advice sounds pretty sensible.

btw saxy_jag, I've obviously got a mental block when it's comes to typing your name, I nearly called you 'sexy' again!

[laurence2]

I'm not over keen on the touchy/feely type, my mates wife always does this to near on anyone i know, even if she has just met them, it makes alot of people feel uncomfotable, i ain't got the heart to tell her to stop it


Do you think they might be Swingers?

[Bellringer]

A smack in the gob usually gets the message accross.

[StudentGal]

I woudl suggest refraining from the lamping till you've told him not to touch you.

I have a very camp friend who is not gay at all. Some men are just very effeminate

[legend759]

maybe hes just trying to be friendly.
some guys are very tactile.

the sexist remarks you just need to tell him theyre in poor taste.

unless of course he just wants into your pants BDW.

ONLY TIME WILL TELL