New bed

[bounceagain]

My partner works away alot, I feel a bit uncomfortable sleeping in his bed while hes not there (the bed he got with his ex). Am I being too sensitive, as I would like a new bed to get this out of my mind and it will be ours, coz it reminds me of them buying the bed together etc.

[Champagne]

No you're not being too sensitive.

He has a history with somebody else in that bed and it's there as a permanent reminder to you. Some people wouldn't have a problem with it, but some do. Just tell him how you feel and i'm sure he'll be fine with it. It's only a bed at the end of the day and so he should have no reason to be emotionally attached to it!!

I just had a new bed delivered on Friday. It's lovely.... I've got a whole new bedroom suite now and it feels like a completely fresh start. I think that's what you need. x

[bounceagain]

Thanks, it doesn't bother me if he here at all. Only when he not and being away for so long, it will begin to hurt I think and I would feel out of place. He did mention getting a bed the other day and I said I like the bed so no need to get a new one. Now I have changed my mind.

[bounceagain]

Have you been in similar situation?

[Queenbee spk]

bounceagain I completely understand- when I stay at my boyfriends, (we are together every night, either at mine or his) I hate the fact that he shared his house with his ex. They lived together for 3 years and there is still so many reminders of her about including the bed, all the furniture that they picked together, plants, ohh the list is endless. I have major issues with it and trying to curb my jealousy and insecurity is really hard. If he has offered to change the bed I would certainly take him up on it x

[bounceagain]

Thanks queenbee, I understand, I dont get jealous or insecurity. I just feel Im in their bed than anything else.

[Champagne]

I was in a similar situation a while ago where I was sleeping in a boyfriend's marital bed (he was divorced!). I have to say that it didn't bother all that much really, but every now and then I would think about it. But then it would have been hypocritical of me because when he stayed at my place he slept in a bed that I had shared with my ex before him!

Let's put it this way....

Would it bother you so much if it was a bed that HE had picked out? i.e. his ex may have shared it with him, but it was always HIS bed and not hers. Does it only bother you because they actually bought it together, as a couple?

[bounceagain]

Yeah definately as they bought/got it as a couple.

[bounceagain]

Am I being too sensitive now?

[Queenbee spk]

I think women are alot more territorial than men are about stuff like this, its our nesting gene, men dont seem anywhere near as bothered. Sometimes women think too much instead of just realxing and enjoying it. Im all for fresh starts though - I think a new bed is the way forward. Do it before you get to my stage of hating everything in his house !

[Champagne]

You'll also need a new mattress....

...and for all the stress he's put you through maybe a pair of Manolo Blahniks and that little black dress you've had your eye on? ;o)

[Queenbee spk]

and your partner wearing just a dickie bow with a rose between his teeth sprawled on your new bed? :)

[bounceagain]

lol

[Bohne]

I, too, think you should get a new bed!

My husband and I just got our first bed together.
Even though the bed we had before did not have a history with his ex-relations, it feels great!

This is OURS!!!!

[bounceagain]

Thanks for your comments.
Champagne, is my view reasonable? That Im not overly keen that they both picked the bed. Cos it feels though I am sleeping in their bed. Does anyones partner live away from home alot, what do you think?

[Champagne]

I think it's perfectly reasonable, bouncey. You find it a reminder of his past life with 'HER'. It's the equivalent of having her picture on the bookshelf. Er... sort of.