Mum

[muchlovex]

I need some advise on the issue below please.

Mum has cancer and she is going to start on Chemo in the next few weeks for 6 weeks. I am very upset about this as i don't know what the future holds for her.

I had a holiday booked in May for 1 week. I asked mum if it's okay for me to go she said it is fine.
The thing is, i am worried if she''ll be ill with the chemo. I wonder whether i should go on holiday. i mean i wouldn't enjoy myself , but i'd have a break from it all.
I have a brother and sister and my dad would help mum.

Would does everyone think, that i was to go on holiday for 1 week, when mum is having chemo?

[crete]

only you can make that decision, its a difficult one.

[scotchollie]

Yes, I think you should go.

But, before you do, sit down and loosely plan out some sort of rota and support for the others in the family.

A family meeting to work through the fears, anxieties and needs into the future will go a long way to making sure that not only can you go on hols with a clear conscience, but that you can relax too.

Come back, re-charged, refreshed and get stuck into giving your Mum the help and support she will need.

[yinyang]

Hi muchlove. I know what you're going through. My dad and grandfather both have cancer at the moment.
As crete has already said, only you can make the decision. All I can do is share my experiences.
It is a very stressful time and nobody could blame youfor wanting to have a break.
The first week of the easter holidays I had a week away booked with my husband and children. It was just after my dad had been diagnosed and while I was away my grandfather was to have radiotherapy.
We were only going an hour away from home but when we went along to say goodbye to my parents my mum became very upset, so of course so did I and really didn't want to go. We did go for the girls sake.
I would be lying if I said I had a miserable time. There was a lot I enjoyed BUT I clung like a limpet to my mobile in case family tried to get in touch and I always had a nagging feeeling that there was stuff going on that they didn't want to tell me about while I was away. In the end we came home on day 5 bacause I was getting so agitated and just felt I should be there for everyone.

Please understand, I am NOT saying you shouldn't go. Your mum will not be on her own and these days it is so easy to keep in touch. Going away might give you time to gather your thoughts and strength , then when you come back you will be able to be a great help to your family. Also, I know it cheered my parents and grandparents up to get a couple of postcards and some photos of the girls having a great time. Sometimes it's just nice to remember what normal life is like and that there is still a lot of happiness out there.
Whatever your decision is I'm sure it will be the right one for you and your family.
My thoughts are with you all and if you ever need to talk to anybody just come on here and give me a shout. I'm usually mooching about even if I'm not posting. Take care x

[muchlovex]

Hello guys,

thank you all for your support.

I think i will wait to see how ill mum will get. we've been told her hair will fall out, we are still awaiting confirmation of what type of chemo she will be given.,

Yinyang-
Thank you for you kind words. If i get really down about it, i'll come on here and ask for you!
thank you all,!
x

[crete]

from yiny...............an excellent and well presented reply and very supportive.

[Baby Jane]

muchloveex
Going through the same thing my self,had loads of support from lovely aABers. My darlin mum started her chemo two weeks ago and I dont want to leave her side ( got a understanding hubby who loves her too) We didnt book our usual hols this year,mum said to go but like you I worry things might not be fine while Im away,mum lives on her own. Its a hard decision but you will do what you think is right for you and your mum Take care ,God Bless I will pray for your mum too. Please keep me informed on her progress.

xxx