ChatterBank0 min ago
:( Has upset me..
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Having seen how judgemental people can be (on another site i use) about peoples weight (alot of people on there are happy to say people are only fat because they choose not to stop eating and it is nothing to do with health problems) I have never been of this opinion, and read a story in one of the weekly magazines i get 2 days ago about the 40 stone boy who has prader-Willi syndrome, i saw alot of comments made on the other site re this when it was in the news. Having just read on a news site today, he has died after being admitted to hospital for a chest infection. it has just well i suppose made me extremely sad that he has lost his battle against something he could never stop, & that people were so judgemental about when they did not know the full story.
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Yes there is a lot of ignorance about this, unfortunately it is not always as simple as cutting down on food intake, sometimes people have genes and as you mention a health problem to contend with, some of these ill thought out comments can be very hurtful to people with weight problems :( xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Nursecarla,
I dont have weight problems myself, i just find it so wrong how people can be so judgemental about this sort of thing.
I dont know wether it was because i had only read the story by his mum a couple of days ago or, from reading the story could actually see what he had been through, it has just got to me.
I dont have weight problems myself, i just find it so wrong how people can be so judgemental about this sort of thing.
I dont know wether it was because i had only read the story by his mum a couple of days ago or, from reading the story could actually see what he had been through, it has just got to me.
Yes there are reasons besides overeating and I agree that people seem to find it perfectly acceptable to be judgemental about obesity. It's funny though that some people will pass judgement on fat people while puffing on their cigarettes or falling down drunk. I know alcoholism is no laughing matter but addiction can be to many things including food. It's unfortunate that addiction to eating is generally more physically apparent.
I read an article the other day and the author said that he would rather rather take his chances with a car driven by an obese person than a drunk and I think he has a point!
I read an article the other day and the author said that he would rather rather take his chances with a car driven by an obese person than a drunk and I think he has a point!
Unfortunately in the society we live in now everyone is judged for everything from obesity to using botox. most people dont want to know and would prefer to think of people with weight problems as lazy and greedy, it makes them feel better about their own shortcomings that they can look down on someone else.
when they were once having a convesation about obese people, i tried to bring it to their attention of things such as Prader-willi, a couple sort of said aww such a shame, and others just either laughed or carried on and ignored me.
Even the people who had acted as if they took note of what i said where very quick to jump on the bandwagon with the degrading & judgemental comments the next time the conversation was brought up!
I just dont under stand it!
None of them seemed to of heard of it before, yet when it was brought to their attention, they chose to ignore it so they could carry on thinking as they were before!
Even the people who had acted as if they took note of what i said where very quick to jump on the bandwagon with the degrading & judgemental comments the next time the conversation was brought up!
I just dont under stand it!
None of them seemed to of heard of it before, yet when it was brought to their attention, they chose to ignore it so they could carry on thinking as they were before!
i agree people are irrationally judgemental about obesity, and also very dubious of anyone claiming that their weight is due to their glands or something - simply because most obese people are obese because they eat too much.
the percentage of people who are overweight because of their glands etc is pretty small.
many use this excuse in order to explain away their weight when questioned, and also some use it to deny to themselves that they eat too much.
i used to have a pal who claimed all sort of reasons for her extreme obesity, then would look terrified and angry if you took two chocolates out of her box instead of one...literally!!
she never gets off her couch - ordering her kids around like servants, and stuffs her face - yet its all her glands fault! mmm...!
i have great sympathy for people with illnesses that cause obesity - i have one myself - PCOS - but as yet I am still pretty slim, so i do understand how didfficult these situations can be.
i just think although its important to be understanding, giving all obese people a ''get out clause'' so they don't have to deal with it, is a dangerous game.
the percentage of people who are overweight because of their glands etc is pretty small.
many use this excuse in order to explain away their weight when questioned, and also some use it to deny to themselves that they eat too much.
i used to have a pal who claimed all sort of reasons for her extreme obesity, then would look terrified and angry if you took two chocolates out of her box instead of one...literally!!
she never gets off her couch - ordering her kids around like servants, and stuffs her face - yet its all her glands fault! mmm...!
i have great sympathy for people with illnesses that cause obesity - i have one myself - PCOS - but as yet I am still pretty slim, so i do understand how didfficult these situations can be.
i just think although its important to be understanding, giving all obese people a ''get out clause'' so they don't have to deal with it, is a dangerous game.
she probably "stuffs her face" because everytime she goes to a shop or anywhere she is treated to stares, rude comments and unhelpful advice from people who feel the need to tell her she is greedy and needs to exercise.
its a vicious cycle, my friend currently gets this treatment after a normal trip outside to the shop she comes back destroyed because of the abuse that strangers seem to feel is justified, she then eats the wrong food because she is so unhappy.
its a vicious cycle, my friend currently gets this treatment after a normal trip outside to the shop she comes back destroyed because of the abuse that strangers seem to feel is justified, she then eats the wrong food because she is so unhappy.
caz, she never leaves the house, she barely even gets off the couch. she can walk, she just doesn't.
i don't know about any comments, i have never witnessed anyone give her abuse, but perhaps she has when i am not there.
you are right though it is a vicious circle - the bigger she gets the less she does.
the point i was making, is she makes up all kinds of reasons - excuses - for her weight and why she ia ''allowed'' to be obese - none of which include eating too much or barely moving
she has even claimed PW herself !!
but when i explained that she would probably have many other problems such as low IQ, and physical attributes such as almond eyes among various other things, and also mentioned that PW - in itself - does not cause obesity - it is the overeating caused by the excessive appetite that causes the obesity, and that people with PW who contolled their diet, and ate healthily, are not obese -she backtracked.
i hate to say it but i am afraid she is just lazy and greedy.
do you think getting huffy and hiding chocolate so she doesn't have to offer you one is usual behaviour?
she is generous in other ways - just not food.
her kids are run ragged - ''get me this'', ''pass me that'', even when its a metre away!
she will shout them down from their rooms to pass her something!
i find the situation upsetting, frustrating and annoying, but at the end of the day its her choice, and she is still who she is - the weight does not make me dislike her or anything.
i just find her denial and lies hard work.
i don't know about any comments, i have never witnessed anyone give her abuse, but perhaps she has when i am not there.
you are right though it is a vicious circle - the bigger she gets the less she does.
the point i was making, is she makes up all kinds of reasons - excuses - for her weight and why she ia ''allowed'' to be obese - none of which include eating too much or barely moving
she has even claimed PW herself !!
but when i explained that she would probably have many other problems such as low IQ, and physical attributes such as almond eyes among various other things, and also mentioned that PW - in itself - does not cause obesity - it is the overeating caused by the excessive appetite that causes the obesity, and that people with PW who contolled their diet, and ate healthily, are not obese -she backtracked.
i hate to say it but i am afraid she is just lazy and greedy.
do you think getting huffy and hiding chocolate so she doesn't have to offer you one is usual behaviour?
she is generous in other ways - just not food.
her kids are run ragged - ''get me this'', ''pass me that'', even when its a metre away!
she will shout them down from their rooms to pass her something!
i find the situation upsetting, frustrating and annoying, but at the end of the day its her choice, and she is still who she is - the weight does not make me dislike her or anything.
i just find her denial and lies hard work.
the fact she never leaves the house and appears to be in denial all points to her feeling bad about herself, whether you have witnessed it or not she knows she is big, she has probably noticed people stare at her in disgust.
she probably eats to feel better and she keeps her food hidden as it seems to be her only joy(naturally protective ), she is probably very unhappy that she cant be a normal mom like everyone else and take the kids out, she probably feels sad when her kids look hurt or disappointed when she feels to big to attend a school concert ect
people who sit on a chair all day every day dont enjoy their lifestyle they are caught in a horrible web of depression, food is an addiction like most things and as we all know addiction is very difficult to move past. she never leaves the house for this reason as well I will bet.
most people who are depressed or unhappy feel ashamed of themselves hence the denial, chances are she puts on a bit of a "normal act" when people visit.
she probably eats to feel better and she keeps her food hidden as it seems to be her only joy(naturally protective ), she is probably very unhappy that she cant be a normal mom like everyone else and take the kids out, she probably feels sad when her kids look hurt or disappointed when she feels to big to attend a school concert ect
people who sit on a chair all day every day dont enjoy their lifestyle they are caught in a horrible web of depression, food is an addiction like most things and as we all know addiction is very difficult to move past. she never leaves the house for this reason as well I will bet.
most people who are depressed or unhappy feel ashamed of themselves hence the denial, chances are she puts on a bit of a "normal act" when people visit.
I have a relative with PWS ..he is now 29 .The trouble with these people is that the receptor in the brain which tells us we are full and that we should stop eating is missing.So they eat for the sake of eating .This lad wasn't diagnosed until he was about 12 years old and only then because his parents had got to the end of their tether ,had seen so many doctors and dieticians until they struck lucky with a particular specialist .
He was sent to a special clinic ..I think there are only a couple in the whole country ..and he did very well ,lost a lot of weight and was even featured in the Daily Telegraph as a success story for PWS sufferers.
Alas they cannot keep them in these places for life and he is back to his old ways .He will even raid dustbins to get food and gets violent if he cannot get food .His parents are old before their time with all the worry of it and they are good parents .
They lock the fridge ,they lock the cupboards but he has been known to smash the place up if he cannot get food .Vicious circle for them.
Their worry is what will happen to him in the future when they are not around .They have now managed to get him into a home under strict supervision with a 24 hour carer..so it's given them some hope .
I admit there are people who stuff their faces just because they can and that there is nothing radically wrong them ..but you can't judge a book by it's cover.Too many people think they have the right to sit in judgement on others when it's not happening to them There but for the grace of God go you or I .
He was sent to a special clinic ..I think there are only a couple in the whole country ..and he did very well ,lost a lot of weight and was even featured in the Daily Telegraph as a success story for PWS sufferers.
Alas they cannot keep them in these places for life and he is back to his old ways .He will even raid dustbins to get food and gets violent if he cannot get food .His parents are old before their time with all the worry of it and they are good parents .
They lock the fridge ,they lock the cupboards but he has been known to smash the place up if he cannot get food .Vicious circle for them.
Their worry is what will happen to him in the future when they are not around .They have now managed to get him into a home under strict supervision with a 24 hour carer..so it's given them some hope .
I admit there are people who stuff their faces just because they can and that there is nothing radically wrong them ..but you can't judge a book by it's cover.Too many people think they have the right to sit in judgement on others when it's not happening to them There but for the grace of God go you or I .
well obviously all you are saying is correct caz - i don't deny she is miserable and has issues - that is blatantly obvious ... which is the point i am trying to make - by creating fake illnesses and lying about why she is fat - instead of just accepting the real reason - she is excusing it and giving herself ''permission'' to be big, and therefore feels she does not have to deal with it.
this is the problem - until she faces facts - that she doesn't have lots of illnesses that make her fat - she will never do anything about it.
and the same thing apllies to many other obese people - i have had a number of people claim they are overweight because of glands - but when asked further, backtrack and conveniently forget the name of their problem, the symptoms, the cure etc etc, all forgotten.
by having something to blame, it takes the onus off themselves and they never change it.
i sympathise with anyone who genuinely has an illness they cannot control, but some fake it - and i think many people know that this happens, which is why you get ignorant behaviour and abuse.
the fakers make it difficult for people to accept genuine illnesses - and not just with obesity - many other types of illness are also doubted because they don't have proof - which annoys me.
i was accused of making up an illness once - just because i looked fine - i got a docs note - but had it not been for so many liars, i would not have been doubted.
this is the problem - until she faces facts - that she doesn't have lots of illnesses that make her fat - she will never do anything about it.
and the same thing apllies to many other obese people - i have had a number of people claim they are overweight because of glands - but when asked further, backtrack and conveniently forget the name of their problem, the symptoms, the cure etc etc, all forgotten.
by having something to blame, it takes the onus off themselves and they never change it.
i sympathise with anyone who genuinely has an illness they cannot control, but some fake it - and i think many people know that this happens, which is why you get ignorant behaviour and abuse.
the fakers make it difficult for people to accept genuine illnesses - and not just with obesity - many other types of illness are also doubted because they don't have proof - which annoys me.
i was accused of making up an illness once - just because i looked fine - i got a docs note - but had it not been for so many liars, i would not have been doubted.
I do agree with what you are saying there Joko about the fakers,
I was ill with upset stomachs and being ill constantly, for 10 years, from when i was 9 until last year. I went to my drs many times and they just didnt really do anything!
Until my mum came in to the drs with me as her work was being affected from having to pick me up from work so often. She put her foot down and said she wanted someting sorted. The dr i said advised to cut out wheat, which i did, and i was fine for months!
There were reports afterwards about teenagers going to drs and pretty much making up symptoms after reading loads of stories about celebs being ceoiacs, glucose, diary, wheat etc... intolerant, and people thought it was 'cool' so were going to the drs with the problems they had read about.
Meaning alot of people, like myself had been ignored for a long time, when i was actually ill!
I've always said, I would enjoy to see how one of those teenages who actually faked things dealt with being wheat intolerant or something like it for a while, and then see how they joke about it!
I was ill with upset stomachs and being ill constantly, for 10 years, from when i was 9 until last year. I went to my drs many times and they just didnt really do anything!
Until my mum came in to the drs with me as her work was being affected from having to pick me up from work so often. She put her foot down and said she wanted someting sorted. The dr i said advised to cut out wheat, which i did, and i was fine for months!
There were reports afterwards about teenagers going to drs and pretty much making up symptoms after reading loads of stories about celebs being ceoiacs, glucose, diary, wheat etc... intolerant, and people thought it was 'cool' so were going to the drs with the problems they had read about.
Meaning alot of people, like myself had been ignored for a long time, when i was actually ill!
I've always said, I would enjoy to see how one of those teenages who actually faked things dealt with being wheat intolerant or something like it for a while, and then see how they joke about it!
yes wiggal, i had a doc like that too - just assume theres nothing wrong with you so don't bother to test you, until you insist.
i guess its a bit like 'the boy who cried wolf'' - so many fakers claim to have gland trouble and are found out so eventually when one comes along who genuinely has a problem, they are not believed.
people jump to too many conclusions, and make snap decisons, and rather than recognising that they are making an assumption which could easily be wrong, they take their own assumption as fact - pretty quickly - which unfortunatley everyone does and its ok most of the time - but to actually abuse strangers because of something like this is beyond belief.
i would say, its mostly kids being cheeky but sadly its not.
i guess its a bit like 'the boy who cried wolf'' - so many fakers claim to have gland trouble and are found out so eventually when one comes along who genuinely has a problem, they are not believed.
people jump to too many conclusions, and make snap decisons, and rather than recognising that they are making an assumption which could easily be wrong, they take their own assumption as fact - pretty quickly - which unfortunatley everyone does and its ok most of the time - but to actually abuse strangers because of something like this is beyond belief.
i would say, its mostly kids being cheeky but sadly its not.
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