don't know what to make of it....

[blu3wave]

if your partner/bf/whatever said they didnt want any children, or a family but you did, would there be any future in the relationship? Not wanting to have children, is it a sign of Lack of committment? So in case, after a couple of months, you get bored of your partner, you can always move on and find someone else .... or is it just a retarded biological gene that exists in the partner, who'd rather die childless and alone, with some stray cats or dogs as their only family in the whole world?

[blu3wave]

You can travel with kids you know, they dont rule your whole life from start till the end. What do you think nannies are for?

But anyway, I think he's not up for it, plus he'd probably make a really bad father with his bad habits (smoking and drinking) and foul language.... who'd want their baby growing up in such an environment ??

[cazzz1975]

If he is like that then you would probably be doing all the work, if you are quite comfortable you could probably get a full time nanny to help but basically you may as well be a single parent.

[blu3wave]

Can you cut down on posts about people who dont want to have kids et tc and are v happy........coz I dont want to know about that,neither do I care. That is Not My Question.

My question is about ME .... and whether this person wants a family in the future or not? And how do I find this out as this person is a foreigner with terrible english and has problems communicating in English.
Now please stick to the Q and answer accordingly, thankyou.

[cazzz1975]

lol blu3, you do try your hardest to stir up a row :D

You have had my opinion...

hope this helps!

have a good evening :)

[ChocolatChip]

Haven't you just answered your question... if you're saying he'd make a bad dad... then why would you want to put children through that? Wouldn't you want to be with someone else and bringing up lovely well rounded children?

And you can't really travel with kids... they have education, it costs a lot of money, and it's a huge upheaval of the children.

[evedawn]

well I found out AFTER we got married that my hub really wasn't very keen on having kids (despite him having one already and also saying beforehand he wouldn't be "totally" against the idea)

Tough one and i had to make a choice...stay with the man who i DO love, and who is very good to me or...move on to someone who I possibly wouldn't love nearly as much and who wouldn't love me and care for me nearly as much. I chose my husband. IT was a tough choice but...for us the right one.

[blu3wave]

Yes, as much as an old rotten bunch of fuddy duddies as you all are, you are all correct just this once, i think.

This guy is an old man, uncultured and uncivilised who cant string a sentence together without swearing.... He cant cook (nothing edible at least), cant houseclean, he's not even rich. He's a complete moron in fact, and I think I'm much much better off without him.

I'm going to join the gym in January and find a local young, good looking athlete to marry and have my kids with in future and we'll live in a nice cottage in the countryside, so I think I have an answer.
Thanks for all your posts, not that helpful or articulate but useful even but it helped me think and find the solution all on my own.

[ChocolatChip]

Thank you and goodnight :)

[blu3wave]

evedawn, dont you feel a little bit stupid? He tricked you into marrying hm and yes it was rue love blah blah blah... but you'll never have kids, ever. But as long as your happy with your manipulative, lying husband thats all that matters i supose.

[cazzz1975]

she will have a tidy house and loads of disposable income, whats not to like :D

[blu3wave]

I suppose if you're a gold digger and money minded, or Gay, then there are no pros to having kids. As they say each to their own. All these losers should start a club and hook up with one another and leave the rest of us decent people alone.

[blu3wave]

What if I tricked this guy, into marrying me, and then had an affair with a handsome younger bloke and a secret family behind his back.... that could work too, and if my partner really really loved me, then he would understand. And let my secret lover and family be part of our life. It would be strange at first but I'm sure it could work out.

[Reverandfunk]

Bluwave I must be "retarded biologically" as you so eloquently put it.

I had the snip years ago because i dont want kids. My choice.

I think if you make a decision not to have kids for the right reasons its far more responsible than having kids for the wrong reasons.

Your well thought out statement seems that you only have kids so you have someone to look after you when your old. How retarded is that?

i do what i want and when i want and am answerable to no-one, I spend my money on whatever i want to and personally thats good enough for me. Sleepless nights, endless worry, etc etc I wouldnt touch it with a barge pole.

[Pippa68]

It is nothing to do with genes and everything to do with personal choice.

I know quite a few people (men & women) who haven't wanted children. Unfortunately I have also known people who have had children and then changed their minds later on.

[blu3wave]

yes well keep doing whatever you want, just dont expect other people to follow you. Put yourself in the other person's shoes sometimes, you can't expect them to change or give up things for you all the time.... it may cause them to resent you in the end.

How can a relationship Ever work out, if one partner wants to have children and more out of the relationship, while the other person just doesn't want anything more? Any views would help, thx

[blu3wave]

yeah, can see ppl answering mostly stupid quizzes and puzzles posts, but can someone answer me here? I'd really like to know. Otherwise my mind's made up...