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cuddleMe | 21:59 Thu 13th Mar 2008 | Body & Soul
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its drepression again ... im feeling low, different mood swings, 5mins im cheerful, nx im all down and want to jump!!
im finding it increasingley hard to block my depression lately, :(

im stuffing meself with junk food, cant seem to stop until im almost literally sick!! this has been going on for whole week now ... im trying to substitute it with fruits, but im stil over eating ... then im bloated and feeling sick again, biscuits, crisps... i cant seem to stop, im full and dont want to eat but my brains r telling me to eat til im sick! Help! :( sign of comfort eating too, but it tends to stop me thinking from being down, but after ive finished my junk food im down again and need more supply! whats wrong with me? :(
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Forgive me for asking, but are you male / female and how old? Are you in a relationship, married, living with parents, working or in education, have had recent illness or traumatic experiences?
I too am suffering depression for the second time in my life and had to leave my job.
I can, like others, offer a sympathetic ear and maybe some supportive advice, but you would need to reveal a little more about yourself, or any advice offered may be way off the mark.
are you due your period soon? these feelings and comfort eating can be down to that
Question Author
theland,
im female, not in relationship (stil hurt from my last), working in a poo job but pays ok for what i do, living with parents, im not even over weight, but i was born with a genectic disorder since 5, i am now in my mid twenties. :(
since i reached teenage i started to get depressed ive had 7 surgeries....and its not over yet .... and cazz not due til a few wks.

alot of ppl on AB knows about my depression, they have been supportive but they cant b there for me 24/7 i need to tackle it on m,y own!
Then begin by having a huge hug and cuddle from me. There!
Could your depression be from the genetic disorder? What is the nature of it? Is the surgery because of it? If it is, couldn't your specialist also provide counselling to work in tandem with your other treatments?
I was recommended for counselling for my own problems, but my GP told me that the waiting list was horrendous, so nothing down for me. But your specialsists may be able to pull a few strings and fix you up.
Question Author
aww thx theland, i could do with some cuddles!

my specialist did referre me to a counciler when i was a teenager but after a couple of visits i stopped going because it was making me worse, from then on.... i just coped on my own-everyone says im a strong person, the nurses who took care of me when i had my surgery had never seen my condition- they ask who do i talk to about my problems etc... i said no one i keep it to myself. they then say u r very strong---but i dont think i am, im crying all the time. . i do beleive my depression is due to my condition, when u look different to everyone else it gets u down even more, some ppl r narrow minded. i was born with a condition called Neurofibromatosis,
Right, I must confess to being somewhat ignorant of your condition, but I have a disabled son, and when he was in the childrens hospital in Liverpool for his first three operations, I stayed with him, and became acquainted with many children with various conditions including bone disorders such as scoliosis, which is similar to your condition I believe.
I would like to understand you a little more, so if you care to, would you like to share with me how your condition manifests itself physically?
I know a bit about it but not enough to completely understand it, and I know that it affects different people in different ways.
I hope you don't think I am being too nosey, but I would like to know you a little more in order to tailor my support for you personally, and not just make general sympathetic overtures.
Question Author
thnx for the link figure, i will have a good read :)

theland i dunno if i want to talk about it again but heres our previous convos with others
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion527820-3.html

although i can do stuff such as driving. i can hide my condtion, but not all! i have lumps n bumps all over me but these can b covered.... my left arm is much bigger than my other so i have probs buying clothes. im soo ugly :(

read the linkss... its a long read. im going soon totry and get some sleep. thx for being there for me. i hope u r ok too. hugs to everyone xx i shud b ok tmoro wrk will keep me minds of things xx
Morning Cuddles - I read the links and previous conversations and now have a better idea about you.
You are a very brave young lady, and as painful as it is, you do manage to hold everything together, difficult as that is.
I guess the junk food is just your way of giving yourself a treat and a bit of a lift, but of course, you are letting it get out of hand somewhat.
I could only say that, yes, you need to give yourself treats, but not focus only on nipping to the fridge for a snack, but something else that will divert your attention from the junk food.
Oh yes, I can imagine you saying, "It's alright for him saying that," and I wouldn't blame you. No, I haven't got a complete answer for you, but I can wish you well and come back a little later to see if you have responded, and chat a little more.
Cuddle,

I've just read your posts on the link. you poor thing sweets. it sounds like you have felt very depressed for a very long time (too long). would you not consider talking to a counsellor again? what about talking to your parents?

i have heard of nf before and i know it can be very painful and scary. so i think you are very brave for coping, but no-one says you have to cope alone.

i just want to send you a huge hug and let you know there are people out there who will not judge you because of your illness although it may feel like that to you.

i'm always here to talk, sweets.
Question Author
thanks theland and Mini,
sorry havent been able to chat sooner been doing a 14hr shift today!

My Nf isnt as painful as it sounds, it effects everyone completly differently, nf is like a finger print where everyone who has nf r unique and treated in diff ways.
my nf is ok, there r parts which r sensitive but only hurts when i bump into it, which i tend to protect it really well. thats not the point, the point is im isolating from everyone and everythig, i just dont want anyone to know, then feel sorry for me, bt there are times i need to tell them a reason why i cant do certain things.... such as wearing a sleeveless top, or do phyiscal things. what ever i do, i always have to think.... will this affect me in anyway, will ppl notice that i look diff? etc.... but 80% of the time ppl do notice but they dont ask. though i m fortunate though i can stil do most of the things that normal ppl do. such as drving

back to talking about it to my parents? i dont think so, they dont really understand, the always compare to ppl who r worse off than i am, i cant think it like that, i cant think ... 'well at least he/shes worse than me' thats not the point! im not close to my family, they dot really understand how i feel, when i moan about how crap my life is.... the just answer back....'do somethng about it...' but what they dont understand is that i cant do stuff just like that.... i need to consider whether im actually fit to do it, and 99% of the time im not bcoz im either have low esteem or jst not fit to do it.

hugs xx
cuddleMe - I hope you don't think I'm being cynical, but I do have some sympathy for your parents, because as much as they love you, they probably feel quite helpless.
I know. I have a disabled son, and sometimes he tells us how much he hates his life, and he is only seventeen!
I would give my life for him, if it would cure him, and so I, too feel totally helpless.
Your parents probably feel the same way.
Also, your parents are trying to get you to be positive by asking you to compare your situation with others who are even worse off.
Put it this way. If you had to counsel somebody who you loved very much, and who was severely disabled and had to use a wheelchair to get around, what positive things would you say to them? Your parents probably feel totally inadequate because they cannot alleviate your suffering, and simply try to get you to feel more positive about yourself.
If I am talking a load of rubbish, then tell me, and in fact, tell me off, I deserve it if I am way off the mark.
Please reply, and I'll be back later. Lots of love and hugs from me.
Hey Cuddles, I posted a long reply this morning, but all of my posts are disappearing again, same as last week.
having to use a geen name for now.
Hi cuddles.....I am so sorry to hear about your condition,tho it sounds like due to it being a chronic condition,you have learned to cope as well as possible with it. What I really want to say is that my first reaction to your eating/depression is that you have gotten yourself in a cycle of cause and effect. It is well known that diet affects mood (and vice versa )....and all that junk food is taking its toll on your health. Sugar in particular is well known for its ability to make us 'high'..this is then followed by a 'crash'-a physical and emotional depression. You need to take steps to regulate your eating...try to ditch all the junk food.Do it gradually..and find ways to reward yourself when you say 'no' to the biscuits. The trouble with junk foods is that they are designed to MAKE us crave them...the more we have,the more the body WANTS them. Please keep posting here hun...there is always someone to listen and help xx
Question Author
thnk you so much Pasta, ive read the aritcal that u sent me about depression and eating, i really didnt really thought it exsisted, i thought it was just me....

i dont eat junk food all the time which is strange i can cope without eating junk for weeks then when im feeling really down i just raid the kitchen or just drive to ASDA to by junk food. im a big fan of heathly food i eat alot of fruit and veg, but on top of that i just need that crave to give me that 'buzz' feeling substituting my unhappiness to enjoying eatng junk!! is that normal?

theland, i did managed to read your post this morning, i just didnt had the time to reply because i went to view a flat, i dont know why it disspeared, mayb AB removed it?? now i cant really remember what you wrote?? my memories is like a seive too!!

it is great to share my problems on here it makes me feel comfortable talking about it, because i dont know anyone personally on here (except one), which makes it easier for me. u may notice sometimes im ok, but there r times im not, my moods can fluctuates all the time, its really hard to control it, but im just strange.

i would to hug u all for being here for be :) smiles all around too xxxxx



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