boyfriend trouble

[blondie83]

I'v only been with my boyfriend a couple months and we have fallen in love, but there is one issue hanging over us, when we very first got together back in the summer, I went out drinking with my best mate and her (male) cousin who was visiting, me and the cousin decided to go for a late night drunken swim in the sea. It was totally innocent, nothing happened, i didn't think anything of it at the time. My boyfriend obviously found out and went mad (despite the fact that we'd only been a couple for 3 days and I invited him out that night and he refused). Ever since then he has been accuasing me of cheating on him. He is so obsessed with me and this other guy, he's adament that something happened. I can see his point of view, it does look a bit suss, I admit that, but i can honestly put my hand on my heart and say that nothing happened. All we do is argue over it and i don't think can cope anymore. I love him so much, I have tried to break it off and he begs me not too and promises he won't accuse me again, but then he does, and I stupidly put up with it. We had another massive row about it last night, going on til 5am, now I don't know where I stand anymore and I'm in peices.
Can someone offer me some advise please on how to prove to him that I really do love him and would never cheat on him. I've even agreed to doing a lie detector test if that what it takes.

[China Doll]

'...buys me fowers, takes me to dinner...'

^^ Up your price to put up with that amount of crap.... Diamonds are nice this time of year.

This is a facade or romance not love. Romance and love are not about who buys who dinner or flowers, nice as that is.

And I'll put out any number of bin bags as long as it means I never have to deal with this kind of nonsense ;0)

[redcrx]

youre right, doomed from the start.

You dont work together at all.

Move on

[ummmm]

I wouldn't put up with it either....or dish it out.

I don't know why I mentioned the bin bags because I put them out :-(

[TheEqualizer]

Blondie,

If you're BF is like this now, after only two months going out with you, what's he going to be like in months to come if he thinks he see's you, even looking at another guy?
Take the advice of good peeps here and ditch him now and move on, as he sounds like a male bunny boiler.

Good Luck, sweetheart.

yogi bear xx

[TTG]

Ask your cousin and the mate to speak to your boyfriend and explain everthing.
Your boyfriend must think a lot of you otherwise he would not have reacted like
he did.

Hope you sort things out.

[TheEqualizer]

The thing is TTG, the BF does'nt trust Blondie enough to believe her, so there is a problem there straight away, and he keeps argueing with her about it, when he knows it must be hurting her.
Even if this does get sorted she will always have to walk on egg shells in the future....................you just dont argue with your new bf after only 2 months, for gods sake.......you're out there enjoying each other and getting to know one another.................the best part of meeting someone you gain to love and trust.

But if you get it sorted, Blondie........best of luck, my lovely.
You've asked for an opinion and you've got plenty to help you out.

yogi x

[blondie83]

TTG, I have! I told him to email him to ask the cousin what happened...he had the nerve to say that I would contact him first to give him the heads up. He got a right cob on when I told him that I'd confided in my best friend. I told him to ask her, he said that she would just lie for me cos she's my best mate. Said noone needs to know cos its between me and him.
The cousin emailed me a while ago, just saying thanks for letting him stay at my and my best mates flat, I was honest and told my boyf, then he made me show him the email! He also asked me to delete the cousin from FB (which I did). It's starting to notice at work now, normally I'm really happy and chatty but my collegue has just told me that she's worried about me cos for the last month or so I'v been dead quiet, I cant tell her or I'l just burst in to tears.

[ummmm]

You deleted someone on demand?

I would have told him to piss off....this is the start of controlling you. You'll end up with no friends at this rate.

Believe me...I went out with someone controlling. I learnt my lesson and it will never happen again.

[TheEqualizer]

Finish with him NOW, sweetheart.............you deserve much better than him........and there are great potential b/f's out there, believe me
I know you love him, but just see what he's doing to you and think for a minute..............."I dont need this"

:0)

[redcrx]

you obviousloy know that he is ruining your relationship here, otherwise you wouldnt have already tried to dump him.

He will NEVER believe you on this incident, thats obvious surely? So how will he react when you want to live a life, go out without him, go to the shops with your friends, take a quiet walk alone?

You either need to be able to put up with this attitude and accept it or get rid of the guy.

[TheEqualizer]

Blondie,

Find someone who will get to love you for what you are, and never doubt you.........always be there for you if you need them, be you're best friend, as well as you're lover and someone who, when you dont see them, look forward to seeing them so much, you cant wait. Thats true love.

I dont know how old you are, but take it you're quite young, Blondie..........so get past this blip and enjoy your life to the full, not be stuck in a dead relationship with some control- mad boyfriend.

All the best

yogi x

[blondie83]

Equalizer, I'm 26 if that helps. Am ready to settle down now and I thought I'd found the right guy. Obviously not.

Thank you so much everyone. I think I know now what I need to do (If he doesn't do it first that it)
x

[TheEqualizer]

26 is young, sweetheart........................and you'll be a prize catch to some lucky fella in the future, i'm sure of that!

Best of luck to you.

lots of love
yogi bear xx

[ummmm]

Yes...best of luck and be strong.

[albaqwerty]

good luck blondie. all the best for the future