Don't know what to do for best

[confused]

My partner and i are currently separated due to fact that he is currently on bail & not allowed any contact with me - he has been charged with assault on me for the 2nd time! However i am very confused at the moment, part of me hates him for what he did but i still love him and miss him. We have been together for 6yrs and have kids together, im not sure if i should be trying to move on with life or keep hold of what ive got and try work things out getting help and support for us both!
Why is life so complicated?

[sara3]

it's scary being on your own, but you need to get some self-respect and move on. you don't want your children thinking this is a normal and acceptable relationship.

[AlBags]

I'm so so sorry you are having a bad time of it : )
We're not all bad : ) x

[zzxxee]

confused i was in an abusive relasioship for 7 years one child by him one from previous partner
it is confusing but if anyone loves you THEY DO NOT HURT UOU full stop you owe it to yourself and your kids to not let them see abuse !!!!
it gets easier with time please please do not under any circumstances go back xxx

[zzxxee]

sorry for spelling mistakes x

[Canary42]

This might help you sort out your confusion.

http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/women/page4.htm

I hope you soon reach the final stage and decide to move on. You also need to seek help (try the CAB for starters if you haven't got any relatives/friends to lean on).

[zzxxee]

do you have any emotional support around you?

[confused]

Thanks you for your replies. No i dont really have anyone for support. Ive had contact from womens aid and social services etc but i dont feel i can trust them to open up.

Im not the easiest person to live with - i have just come out of hospital suffering from depression & anxiety - been put on anti depressants, i cant help but feel that my up & down mood has put pressure on our relationship and pushed him over edge.

I dont know i guess time will tell - im just scared of the future

[pastafreak]

DON'T blame yourself!. You need a partner who is supportive of you, not someone who thumps you if you do not behave as he sees fit. He is like a bad habit-the longer you keep apart, the easier it will be to develop the confidence and self belief you need.
Leave him behind,and find yourself....be who YOU want to be.

[boxtops]

You can also contact Relate if you would like an impartial chat - they don't only deal with saving marriages these days, they have all sorts of relationship skills and might be able to help you. Stay strong.

[lotsafun]

I too was in a abusive relationship confused and all can say is keep strong and keep reminding yourself that under no circumstances should a man ever hit you. This wasnt a loving relationship but one about control, you and your children are so better off without this person.
please please dont take him back, hes never going to change, i put money on it that after the first time he hit you he promised to never hit you again and he did, please dont fall for it again! Move on for the sake of you and your kids, you deserve better and believe me there is better out there for you. good luck confused, you know where we all are if you need to talk :)

[confused]

Thanks for your replies.
Can i just say Le Chat you obviously havent been in this situation. Its not that easy to just walk away and stop loving someone - we all make mistakes and although im not saying what he done was rite far from it i hate him for putting us in this situation - but he is the father of my children and was once a loving caring supportive man - i know i have to stay strong for my childrens sake at least they do deserve better but im finding it hard at the moment to deal with everything, get on with life and be happy!