Heartbroken

[Living-in-Hope]

I have been having a relationship with a chap for a year. He is in an unhappy marriage and I think deep down I have been hoping for something more to develop but it hasn't. Foolish, I know but I have feelings for him which I can't just turn off.

We couldn't see each other often, but kept in touch by email and text daily until April when he found out one of his close family members was terminally ill. Obviously this is terrible news for anyone to hear and soon after he lost his job and was very down. Contact with him became more and more sporadic but I offered a shoulder, sympathy and said I would be here for him when he was ready. He said he appreciated that and didn't want to say "never again" but because of the situation with his relative and job, his mind was all over the place, he could not think about anything "romantic" and he could not say when/if we could meet up.

I have now had no contact from him for 2 weeks and whilst I have every sympathy for the awful things going on in his life, I have my life too and I have been so sad not hearing from him. I know he would never consider a "proper" relationship with me and that I have been, in effect "on tap" for him, always on his terms and whenever he has felt like it. Therefore I decided for my own sanity and dignity that cutting ties would be best , so I deleted all his emails, texts etc and then went to delete him from my MSN contacts.

I noticed that just a couple of days previous, he had joined the network of a woman who's rather revealing profile picture and list of her own contacts left me in no doubt as to the kind of "friend" she would be. I feel completely gutted. He's clearly "in the mood" again, but not with me, yet he hasn't the decency to tell me. I know I'm better off without him, he's clearly a player, a user, but how do I stop it from hurting so much??

[Bobbisox]

awww it will go away L.I.H
we have all been there, why not come in here a bit more often when you feel so down, you will always get a 'knocker' but that's the same in the real world, the majority on here are lovely and very understanding...believe me, I know
♥

[ummmm]

Some people are shocking.

I was out not so long ago...bumped into a friend and we joined his group. One of his mates who I had never met started chatting to me. He ended up asking me out...I obviously declined because I'm taken. Anyway...a few weeks later he adds me on FaceBook...turns out he was married with two kids and one on the way...!

[reta]

You will feel better with time, but if you loved him you will never forget. Try and put it down to experience and don't make the same mistake next time.

[Living-in-Hope]

Bobbisox - once again, thanks for your words and understanding. The kindness and compassion people on the whole show is much appreciated by me. Being lonely is a terrible thing and having no-one to confide in since my best friend died has been difficult. Being able to "chat" here and seek advice has been so helpful to me, I can't begin to say how much xx

[Living-in-Hope]

Hello Ummmmm - seems to be a common theme doesn't it unfortunately. Makes taking people at face value a thing of the past which is a shame, but obviously, it pays to be a little wary - I'm going to be in the future xx

[Living-in-Hope]

Hello Reta - thanks to you also. I deserve better - to be the most important thing in a person's life, not an afterthought xx