love

[4getmenot]

My mate rang me today to tell me her and her husband are splitting up. Shocked me a bit as they got together about 10 years ago, he was her first they then rented a place, then got married and bought a house etc , they have been trying for a baby for past year or so but were having problems. So when she rang today and said she had some news I thought she was about to say she was pregnant. I always used to say I wish my life had been like hers, get a bloke young, get married then have babies. But thinking about it today I am actually quite happy I had all the single fun I had when I split up with my first boyfriend. I think I learned from that. Does anyone know anyone that got married young and are still together, apart from people in there 60's upwards. She said she just didnt love him anymore and that getting some other male attention recently made her realise she hasnt loved him for about 2 years. So are you all happy and do you think its best to do what society expects, virgin, get married, live togather, have family or do you think people need some life experience before they settle for the one?

[4getmenot]

and I used to have a border collie called Laddie, but I'm actually scared of most dogs now

[Captin Kirk]

there's swings and roundabouts to it all whatever path you take ...

my brother has been with his wife since she was 14, he was 17 ... they married when he was 23, have two kids .... now he is nearly 50, still together with grandchildren and mortgage free and are having a second life together now both their kids are grown up. They have had their struggles but clearly love eac other dearly.

Me? .... met the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with after reaching 30 ... now at 42 have been married for 8 years, 5 year old daughter .... have our moments lol but wouldn't change anything. Sometimes we wish we had got together earlier but you can't go through life thinking "what if" to often ...

Anyway Mrs Kirk thinks people should not be allowed to get married before 30 to protect them from themselves.

[4getmenot]

I just think people need to learn from mistakes first and thats what makes them stronger in future relationships. I couldnt be with the bloke I'm with now when I was 20, I would be too clingy, drive him mad etc, infact we did go out for a week 5 years or so before we actually got together this time, he amits he was too young then and didnt know what he was doing when he dumpd me.

[4getmenot]

I also think that anyone who gets with their partner young hasnt had the time to find out who they are.

[Captin Kirk]

^^^ that why my wife thinks the 30 rule 4get ...

[Greedyfly]

I met my partner at 18, we have been together about nine years (not married yet) but I cannot honestly see me being with anyone else. There are no guarantees though, I am not naive.

It is a shame that a couple together so long can no longer make it work.

I have thought about what I have missed out on a lot (he is older than me) and it preyed on my mind a great deal a couple of years ago and we very nearly split up. But then common sense hit me, I am lucky I didn't have to meet lots of people and get hurt or used. I met him and moved in with him within about two months and have been together ever since. I am now grateful for that. I wouldn't change it for the world. He is my best friend. I am so relieved that I didn't follow my doubts and either leave or do something silly because I would have ruined the best thing I have ever had!

[4getmenot]

I knew a while ago it wouldnt last with them two, she came round mine one night when I used to have loads of lads round and she told them he was her first and they were all shocked, and I could see she was wondering what it would be like with someone else. It might be that she goes out has fun and realises but then she just doesnt love him anymore. Greedyfly thats so lovely that you didnt spoil it when obviously the love is still there.

[Greedyfly]

=)

[nohorn]

I have to put my two cents in: I think there should be more divorces. Life is a journey, life is short, you win some, lose some. A person will always know when they are with total contentment with a mate, some never do get to that point though, for various reasons. However nothing will work without give and take. Thank goodness, women are not dependent on men and most can survive on their own which has not been true in the past.

[LoftyLottie]

I am over 60 forget so shouldn't be answering. I didn't get married young, my husband wasn't my first partner by a long chalk and I had some 'experience' of life for a lot of years before I settled down!! Perhaps that is why we are still together. A lot of my friends were of the same ilk and they are still together too. We were the first generation of youngsters that had freedom and choices.

I think society these days is more flexible however then I was young. Although I was quite a rebel a lot of people did get married shortly after leaving school, followed by kids, etc. etc. I don't envy them at all. I had my son at 36, enjoyed a childless marriage for 11 years where we had loads of freedom and now at 60+ have loads of freedom again and am still young enough to enjoy it.

Each to his own.

I'll go now, because I shouldn't be on this thread!!

xx

[LoftyLottie]

Perhaps part of it we me is that I have never needed a man to depend on - far from it. I am my own person and can survive on my own. Many in my generation were as nohorn were the last of those who carried on with the traditions of the 50's early 60's. I just grabbed at life?

[LoftyLottie]

'were as nohorn says'

[4getmenot]

lofy i am shocked!! :-O Ha ha no I'm not actually you seem like a woman who'd take no sh1t. lol

[LoftyLottie]

Absolutely 4get. Can't you tell from my picture over there <<< ;o) How's the job hunting going.

[ummmm]

I had my daughter at 18....I don't think I've missed out. I had a great family and really good friends who were always willing to babysit so I still got to go out most Saturday nights :-)

I still went out most Saturdays after the boys were born as well.....not so much now though...I'm getting old :-(