temper tantrums by a 2 year old

[single dad]

What is the best way of handling a 2 year olds temper tantrums?

[FP]

Whether inside or out, alone or in company hold them in a close firm cuddle and try to remain calm.   Don't be embarrassed by doing this.   Your calmness will calm them.  No smacking or shouting and don't try to hard to reason - that can come later when they have calmed.

[Mrs_Pegasus]

Some would say ignore them.  i know this is easiest said than done but showing a reaction is possibly what is wanted.

It is so difficult to advise, I have the opposite, a child who doesnt have a tantrum but will sulk for hours upon hours!  I have been told to ignore her and I suppose it works but then she isnt screaming the house/shop down.

As long as she cannot harm herself I would try and ignore it as much as possible and try and talk her down i.e. calm manner.

[nfn]

however you deal with it make sure you're down to his/her level for as much eye contact as you can manage with a spinning head!!! Don't tower over a child, it makes it worse in my experience, reduce yourself to their size, I've even been known to lie down on the floor with HLL, although admittedly not in the middle of Tesco. Good luck, they will pass - just in time for adolescence!!!!!!!

[nfn]

oh, and lower your voice. a deeper quiet voice works really well for calming people down from toddlers to overgrown kids ie. adults. It plays with their psyche and really really works, try it - on anyone. If you don't have almost instant success I'll eat my hat

[single dad]

Thank you all for your wise words of advice.Save me having a hair transplant to replace what I pull out.

[shehin]

Watch Supernanny, 9pm Wednesdays Channel 4 - she has loads of ideas to bring unruly children into line.

[Proactivity]

When you've finished watching Supernanny and her overbearing, wannabe dominatrix tactics, turn over and watch Little Angels instead.  Tanya Byron rules!

[kags]

Stay calm, don't fuel the situation, 100% ignore anybody else around you (ie onlookers who will be tutting and muttering). I used to sit down on the ground next to the child, and say nothing at all for as long as it took. Even in Tescos, and it usually worked. Good advice above about not trying to use reaon, or bargaining or bribery - the child cannot respond when he/she is having the tantrum, they have lost their self-control.  Remember that after the tantrum, he/she will be shocked at what just happened, they need  calm reassurance.

[rampart]

These are great posts.

I was just going to add that it does get easier for you to handle over time. At first,  you think you just can't do it, and it is very difficult. Later, you'll see that you have no problem maintaining your composure. Your toddler will soon see that you are consistent and that you love her but will not budge when it comes to tantrums.

[kick3m0n]

kags makes a great point....the wee ones often get very scared by the strength of their anger/frustration etc, and frightened by their own (extreme) reaction which they cannot control yet.  Once they've calmed down enough, they will need lots of hugs and love.  P.S. FPs tip re hugging will not work with all children, some cannot bear to be touched while in a true tantrum...if this is the case, just ensure they are sitting/lying somewhere were they cannot hurt themselves.  

[ladymariner]

Great ideas here, just remember each child reacts differently and what works one day will maybe not work so well the next time! Definately ignore everyone else around you's reaction cos you'll be damned whatever you do as everyone is an expert with someone else's child! Try to stay calm though above all else, if you lose it then the child will think it's ok to carry on screaming if only to still be heard. I know this is easier said than done, I used to find putting my son in the hallway for a set time, usually 2 mins, then going back to him worked well as because I was no longer there to see his performance he tended to calm down. Also it gave him a way back in which I think is important- he's calmed down, I was calm and then we could hug and make up. The best bit!!!