good morning all, i have read all that has been written and the feedback is just amazing, i have a little hope now with the fact there may well be a solution, it actually did have the better of me prior to writing this, i will leave the question open and update as and when to try give a pattern but i already think you all get the idea. i just wish the daughter could let go of her own self absorbed attitude and see how happy her mum is (not being big headed) with me in her life.
just to give you idea ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90HhZ-pyC2Y
not that mum spoils her in this way but the reaction is perfect !
thanks all you have been great on this