yes, things should have been handled differently.....

[Amber-Rose]

...but the fact remains, plans were made, he was to leave his wife and do it properly as kids involved, we would be together, wife found out - screaming and arguing, he got kicked out the house but is back in the spare room and now he has made no contact. Why is this? He was open and honest (?) with me before the sh*t hit the fan. Wife should not have found out but she did, and I just thought as rubbish as it was, he would have used the opportunity to leave her, as he was going to do that anyway..... Should I contact him..?

[naomi24]

From Ladybirder //If he hasn't contacted you in a couple of weeks then he's made his choice and it's not you.//

I wouldn't wait for him to contact you. He's made his choice - and if he ever comes back, don't forget it. Show him the door.

[starone]

My friend's lover kept her going like this for thirty years - always said he would leave his wife when the kids were old enough to understand. He never did and in the end he died, still living with his wife and enjoying his lover. Having your cake and eating it seems to be the name of the game.

[askyourgran]

Amber never lay claim to a married man, someone has first, second third claim on him, depending on the number of kids he has. Don't start grovelling for something that was never going to be yours anyway. Walk away, now you know that your favours were not met with his honesty and determination. Some married men really are ratbags. Imagine how his wife feels. How do you work that out -<<wife should not have found out but she did????>>.

[ladybirder]

Naomi, scarlett wrote <<If he doesn't contact you, give him a coupla weeks and then ask him what's going on. >>
I probably didn't make myself clear but I was responding to what scarlett said. In other words I was trying to stop the poster contacting him after two weeks, as suggested by scarlett, as he's made his choice already. In fact, as you say, don't contact him at all.

[naomi24]

Ladybirder, no problem. :o)

You were right. If he hasn't contacted her, which he hasn't, he's made his choice.

Bloody hell! Hang on here! Why should Amber be waiting for him to make his choice! Come on girl! Make your choice! Ditch him!! You deserve better than a lying toad!

[Amber-Rose]

There are some men (and ladies) who actually do walk away from their marriages, though, aren't there.
I shall not contact him, though. Thank you. x

[Sqad]

////I shall not contact him, though///

You will, believe me, you will.

[Craftypig]

How do you know he is in the spare room?

[Amber-Rose]

He said he was in the spare room the last time we spoke when this all came out

[Bobbisox]

Amber, I mean this kindly, he was telling you what you wanted to hear, it's a bitter pill to swallow but forget all about him..and try to move on

[naomi24]

Sqad, Not if the people here have any influence!

//He said he was in the spare room the last time we spoke when this all came out //

Of course he's going to tell you that. He also said he was going to leave his wife. You might think he was 'open and honest' with you, but he wasn't. Kick him into touch, Amber. As I said, you deserve better than a lying toad!

[Nini74]

if i were you i'd count my blessings that she hasn't turned up looking for you! learn your lesson and move on - there's only one married man you should ever have relations with, and that's your own husband - not anybody elses. He lied, you fell for it - you're both cheats. Turn the page and start afresh...