Teacher's Pet

[Zammo]

Teachers, espescialy Primary school teachers, must have some funny stories up their sleeves. I visited a school recently and the headmistress said she was going to write a book which would include funny things kids say. My favourite was one wee boy was asked what the plural of potato was and he said, wait for it, CHIPS!!! If you're a teacher have you any funny stories from any kids in your class that you could put in a book? Or maybe you're a parent and your kid has come out with a really funny line...share....:-)

[Noraq]

..little girl screaming ''cause my teeth stood on my tongue''

[daisya]

Teaching/helping reading on a one to one basis a very reluctant boy reader aged 8 in all seriousness told me, " I HATE sprouts, but I HATE reading MORE than I hate sprouts!!!" I knew then that he really really hated reading lololol.

[Ann]

In a Nativity Play rehearsal The Angel Gabriel Didn't appear on cue. The prompter shouted several times "Enter the Angel Gabriel" After the third attempt a little voice shouted offstage "Angel Gabriel aint coming, she's gorra cold and gone 'ome"

[redcrx]

i wish i had the sense to write down all the funnies my 2 have come out with.

last weeks was a conversation between me and my 3 year old daughter (A). She and her brother get home from school somedays and destroy the house.

Me: A, i want no messing around after school today
A: I want to mess, mummy
Me: no, i want no messing, please, not today
A: I wont kill anyone, mummy

[maggiebee]

My grandaughter told me that if you don't understand something her teacher had told her to consultrate and read the scructions! Good advice.

[Noraq]

little boy told to sit at the front 'for the present'.....little boy throws tantrum after an hour......''I want my present now!!! (my brother) he has not changed. lol

[redman41]

Gervase Phinn is a retired Yorkshire Schools Inspector and Tours the Country speaking about this period of his life with hilarious Tales about some of the kids he encountered and the funny things they said. He is very popular

[sophie_1003]

I was at a school where the vicar was giving an assembly about Christmas; he started by talking about presents and mentioned that he thought he knew what his wife had got him for Christmas as he knew it was something for his car and had seen a box on their dining room table that was about "this big" (indicating the size of a sat nav box); a child at the back of the hall called out "Is it a sponge?"

[Giggsie]

My grandaughers teacher asked her class of 5yr olds if they knew what an eraser was "YES shouted my grandaughter my mummy uses one to shave her legs"

[moiflan]

"Oh Miss..me 'air's all ecstatic" she meant static!

[Jules001]

I remember my daughter not long after starting school saying that they had been read a story. When asked what the story was, she replied, "We're going on a beer hunt," I tried explaining that it was a bear hunt, but she was adamant that the teacher knew best, when I asked her which teacher it was, it made sense, the teacher in question was West Indian and had an accent that my daughter hadn't really heard before. :)

[Noraq]

Class was asked to tell what their Daddies worked at:
One little boy said his dad "drinks Guinness"...turned out the father works in the Lab. at the Brewery. His mam works with me.

[lozzer50]

A few years ago my daughters hamster died, when her teacher asked her if hammy had gone to heaven she said no my dad threw it in the bin !!!!

[lozzer50]

another one was couple years ago my grand daughter was the virgin mary in the nursery nativity and her brother was a donkey, she had a strop on the big day and threw baby jesus on the floor shouting that she wanted to be a donkey, like her brother !!

[bertiebear]

One year one of my pupils drew a fork at the top of his bonfire picture. When asked what it was he replied, 'Guy Fawkes'. Another time a little boy was telling some outrageous story and the T.A. said she thought he was in cloud cuckoo land. Whereupon another little boy said, 'I think I've there miss'.

[bertiebear]

Whoops sorry - should have said 'been there'

[boxtops]

Not a teacher story, but when my brother was about three, we went to the seaside, and we were playing in the ripples - my mum warned us not to go in too deep, and bro said "..but I don't want to paddle in the few, I want to paddle in the much!"