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I Can't Remember

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sir.prize | 00:08 Tue 22nd Nov 2011 | Jokes
4 Answers
Just a line to say I'm living
That I'm not among the dead
Though I'm getting more forgetful
And mixed up in my head

I've got used my arthritis
To dentures I'm resigned
I can manage my bifocals
But, Oh God; how I miss my mind

Sometimes I can't remember
When I stand upon the stair
If I am going up for something
Or have I just come down from there?

Before the fridge so often
My mind is filled with doubt
Now have I put some food away
Or have I come to take it out.

Sometimes when it is night time
With my night cap on my head
I don't know if I'm retiring
Or have just got out of bed.

If it is my turn to write
I hope you wont get sore
I think I may have written
And don't want to be a bore

So remember I do think of you
And wish that you were near
But now it's time to mail this
So I'll say goodbye my dear

At last I stand before the mailbox
My face I'm sure is bright red
Instead of mailing this to you
I've just opened it instead
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Are you writing my biography for me??
THE SENILITY PRAYER

God grant me the senility
to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune
to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference!
My Rememberer

My forgetter's getting better
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke

For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering
If I really should be 'there'
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!

Often times I walk into a room,
Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain
A zero, is my score.


At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "who was that?"

Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.

Send this to everyone you know because I don't remember who sent it to me!
For those of you who don't get this, you will, your day is coming.


Recently I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it mainifests.


I decide to water my garden, as I turn on the hose, I look over at my car and decides it needs washing.

As I start towards my garage, I notice mail on the table that I collected from the letter box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that it is full.

So I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the post box when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don't accidently knock it over.
The coke is getting warm and I decide to put in the fridge to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the worktop catches my eye - they need water. I put the coke on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I had better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when we watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote control, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote control back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day
The car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of coke sitting on the worktop
the flowers don't have enough water
there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book
I can't find the remore control
I can't find my glasses
and I don't remember what I did with the cars keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

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