Friends

[orange-ade]

How many of you have actually managed to keep in contact with your school friends? I have been through quite a lot since leaving school (even though it wasn't very long ago!) and I feel very different towards the two main friends I left school with. I know you are not supposed to throw people away, and that is a horrible thought, but I feel like we are very different people now and we will probably just grow apart. But one of those people in particular feels so clingy towards me that the more she tries to force our friendship the furthur it forces me away. Obviously I don't want to be friendless...its just a difficult situation...I just don't miss them if I'm honest, and surely that means something?? Sorry if this seems a little heartless! Also sorry if this is in the wrong topic! x.

[MartinBev58]

Kassee

You are right in what you said in your thread timed 13:13 Sat 24th Mar 2012.

I have mentioned this in other threads but when my father passed away on the 7th December about 20 of his so called friends at the social club thought they should have some of the estate.
My father used the local Social Club more than me but we were both members.
All of the estate was left to me and my daughters as I was the only living child of my father and half of the house belonged to me before Dad passed away as it was willed to me by my mother. I distributed the estate in accordance with the terms of the will.
When I went to the club between Christmas and the New year I was not made very welcome. My membership was due for renewal on the 1st of January but I did not renew it.
I am now just making a social life in different circles but the total of the amounts these people thought they should get amounted to my fathers and my assetts added together.

Martin

[Kassee]

That is terrible - what a greedy bunch of people.

[orange-ade]

Thanks everyone for all the responses! Seems like you've all had different experiences with friends! I think it must be nice to have really old friends to keep turning back to! I ask as I am having a rather tough time at the moment and a friend I mention in my post just feels really unsupportive. She can't seem to understand my situation at the moment and that I can't have her as a priority in my life right now and that just makes her annoyed, and that in turn annoys me! She keeps telling me to contact her more, and texting me to tell me to get in contact soon...its not for any highly important reason, it's just because she seems desperate about losing my friendship. I suppose I should be flattered! I just don't like clingy people, it feels too much! The problem is that her, me and another girl are part of a three...not the best number! So I can't really lose contact with one without losing the other! I just don't feel connected with this girl as she can't cope with someone other than her having a tough time. She's treated me badly in the past when she knows I have been having it tough and she's just really gone down in my opinion! It just means I don't consider her a really close friend anymore as I consider her selfish, not just towards me but to others as well, but she still considers me her best friend. Its just so awkward!!! And its driving me nuts!! I'm just not the sort of person to have problems with people! x.

[joko]

i was never particularly close to anyone at school...i have contact with lots now - mostly on facebook and few in the pub etc, but to be honest quite a lot of them were scally chavs and not the sort of people i associate with... i was friendly at school of course to get along and i had nothing against them...but no intention of keeping in touch

of the ones who added me on FB i really like about 10 of them...but we are not close.

you are forced together at school... hundreds of kids who you have to spend 5 years with and have to get along...but doesnt mean they will be lifelong pals ... people change an dmove on - and grow up...

[Kassee]

You're not forced together in school for five years - anymore than you are forced to work with other people or forced to meet other people at the gym, or on the golf course, or at the pub. You either make friends in life, or the don't. Sounds like you don't joko. Does growing up mean that you can't have friends?

Or maybe you use people for convenience rather than friendship.

[Canary42]

Lost contact with all school friends the day after I left school (with the special exception of my twin brother with whom I am still in contact 52 years on).

[Nini74]

Can't say I ever actually made a conscious decision to keep in touch or drift apart from any school friends.....things happen, people move on and lives change. I've stayed in touch with one - we may go a couple of years without seeing or speaking to eachother, but get in touch for major life events (eg when her daughter was in hospital she phoned me, when I got pregnant, phoned her etc). We meet up every now and then (Glad to say its been more frequent lately), and she even drove 400 miles on her own to stay the weekend in Scotland for my wedding. We'll always be friends, but you don't have to live in eachother's pockets.

[NKDK]

As long as u have them on facebook thats all that matters these days. Am i wrong? lol! Move on and stop worrying! Your exploring life and there is nothing wrong with that :-)

[joko]

Kassee - some really stupid, ignorant and judgemental comments you have made there

i spent 5 years of my life spending almost every day for 8 hours mixing with approximately 1000 kids ...i had no choice but to spend some time with them, and a lot of the time with the ones in my class - are you suggesting i should have made lifelong friends with all of them? really?

i was proper friends with a few, wider pals with others and acquaintances with others ... and as i stated i still see a few socially but i am not close to them.

i also have no choice who my workmates are - are you suggesting all of them become close friends too?
and any who dont i have the choice to have them removed? no i dont.
i HAVE to be with them.
there are times in life where you have to spend time with people you dont necessarily like and who you dont become best friends with - if you havent then maybe you have lead a very sheltered life

i am 40 years old and in the 25 years since i left school i changed and so did they and i have made many more friends, on a much deeper level - through choice.

where did i suggest that when you grow up you cannot have friends?

i think maybe you need to learn ro read a bit better - or at least try to comprehend - before you come on with your snide little digs.