Counselling question

[tinkerbell23]

After your sessions are over....

Are you supposed to have possibly found a link from your past as to why you were feeling the way you were (to go & get counselling in first place)......?

Does simply knowing the "link" and being aware of it make you feel better?

Just wondering, cos i enjoy going and chatting things out, but im wondering when my sessions are over how ill be "cured" if you know what i mean??

Xxx

[bednobs]

i don't think that's how counselling works. I had 4 sessions after Heather died. I don't think there was a link to an event in my past or any huge aha! moment, just vocalising the thoughts and feelings i was having that i couldn't share with even my husband helped

[vodkancoke]

It's just being able to put things in perspective Tinks. It also helps to know what "triggers" cause whatever you go through. That way you can try to avoid them.
You should have as much counselling as you need.

[boxtops]

It may well be that you come to realise there is a link, tinks, but not necessarily. My own counselling helped me to explore relationships and why perhaps I felt the way I did about myself - which was all having an effect on my mental state of health. I did never really "get to the bottom of it" nor do/did I particularly want to, I just wanted to be able to lead a normal life (whatever that is!) - but the counselling gave me tools to help to control anxiety feelings, so that they grew less and less. I did talk a lot about things in the past, but we never really uncovered a "thing" which had made me start feeling the way I did (and that, as you know, just grows without you realising it, until you have to seek help). You just have to let your current sessions help you and support you to feel better about things - I still look back on some of mine and remember how much help and self-confidence I managed to gain from them in the end.

[maggiebee]

Don't think there would always be a link to your past but will stand corrected.
Think it's just the process of talking to someone and getting it all off your chest. As the saying goes - a problem shared is a problem halved. e.g.Samaritans don't give advice but give people time and space to explore their feelings.

[vodkancoke]

Sorry, that made no sense! I mean you should have as much counselling as you feel you need. Only you will know that and only you will know when you feel you can go on without it xx

[tinkerbell23]

I understand what you mean, i have voiced feelings that i couldnt ever to anyone? So mabye its a weight off???

I still going, but i almost find some things uncomfortable to acknowledge and having a stranger acknowlegde things i find hard to shake off...keep thinking about it all...yet i more than willingly go in & blab and blub away lol x

[boxtops]

That's the joy of it, though, tinks - it's an uninvolved third party, so you can say anything without fear of offending or being ridiculed, and family don't always understand what's going on. I remember saying a couple of things with my therapist and he gently explored them, just so I could get something out in the open which I hadn't told anyone. Once it was in the open, I could get rid of it, not hug it any longer.

[tinkerbell23]

Well he said 4-8 sessions ive been offered and this week is halfway mark.

Last one he said was a really good session...but i keep thinking things over and find some stuff hard to process if u know what i mean? Especially as some one else has said sotoo....mabye its because ive ok'd things for so long its weird to realise there was a huge problem.....

Im enjoying it i really am, and my panic is well controlled for now....but i still think silly things and i dont think counselling will ever ever get rid of those :0(

Perspective is a good word. He has made me feel more "normal" x

[tinkerbell23]

Very true box. And i have done so....even though i do still feel bad that ive said it??

And like i said, its weird to have an "outsider" almost agree with me that things havent been right or good, whereas family/friends brush things under the carpet xxx

[boxtops]

That's good tinks, and tbh you'll still have to reflect on these sessions even after they've finished, and take away the good things from them - and if you slide back a bit, just remember and dig in the spikes, so you don't slide too far but can still look upwards and make your way back!

[maggiebee]

Family and friends are inevitably too close tinks. Better with a stranger who has no "history" and can give an unbiased view.

[boxtops]

I know the family and carpet syndrome - or else they think you've lost the plot, and this is far from being the case!! Great that you are getting good vibes from this.

You can always ask "what happens after the 8 weeks"? - my chap said "if you need to, just ring me and come back" - which was very reassuring, it gave me a lifeline. I did go back, a few years later, just for a couple of sessions under different circumstances, and it was good to be able to do so.

[tinkerbell23]

He is very soothing....i think im just coming to terms that im not the wrong one? But i feel bad about things ive admitted and i also think omg, thats all down on paper, and i wonder what he thinks of me and people ive mentioned LOL

But obviosly thts part of my problem. Well i know it is!!....

The unbiased view is good maggie, but i also was a bit like "eeek" because he drew breath at some things and closed eyes and said to me omg im so sorry :0/

And i thought...OMG....its weird xxx

[vodkancoke]

I had counselling privately at The Priory which was crap. I went for 8 weeks and got nothing from it.
My GP referred me to an NHS therapist who I saw for a year. He was fantastic and I still have his number if ever I need to see him again. You can always go back Tinks if you feel it all creeping back up on you.
I agree about the family, they are just too close and probably wouldn't understand unless they have gone through it themselves.
Keep at it sweetheart, it will all get better xx

[wolf63]

I suffered from depression for many years without talking about it with my friends. Once you can really talk about all the 'stuff' in your head with your friends and, maybe even laugh about it, you will feel so much better.

I have realised - with the help of my psychiatrist etc that my main problem is that I have to be in control of situations. This means that, for example my major panic reason, if Frankie(handsome chap in my avatar) is not feeling well due to his asthma then I get into a total panic and freak out.

I suspect that it goes back to my childhood and my relationship with my mother - a complicated relationship.

I hope that you get on - you can never change who you are but you can try and change your thought patterns.

[vodkancoke]

Tinks, he will have seen and heard much worse from others I'm sure. He won't be phased about what you tell him and he won't think anything of you. Don't let that worry you x

[tinkerbell23]

Wolf.....i have the same problem and i suspect for the same reasons too!!!!

Thanks voddy, i defo will stick with it, i do enjoy it, he makes me think about things....i think im just finding it hard to accept that someone agrees that ive not been wrong, and has commended me on my behaviour actually!!!

So i will stick in.....but was just having a deep think there LOL x

[thecivicchick]

Hi all im new here ad ive been reading all the comments to tinkerbell and can relate to all of this.I have been strugling with thoughts and grudges i get,its a constant battle,im not mad or nothin lol ;0,but its made me think about getting some counselling perhaps....maybe ill pluck up some enthusiasm to book app lol!!!tears of a clown...thts me!! ;)