News1 min ago
A Man Walks Into A Bar
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with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.''
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C&P for , alba
A man goes into a pub with a duck and a biscuit tin.
He asks the landlord if he can show off his dancing duck to earn some beer and the landlord agrees.
He puts the tin on the bar and the duck on the tin and starts playing his mouth organ.
The duck starts tap dancing like flump on the top of the tin.
Word of this gets round and people are flocking in to see the dancing duck.
The landlord offers big money to buy the duck off the guy, so money and duck change hands.
Next time the bloke goes into the pub, the barman complains that he's been robbed because the duck won't dance. "Maybe I'm playing the wrong tune", he says. To demonstrate this, he puts the tin on the bar, the duck on the tin, plays a tune but the duck just stands there.
The bloke says to him, "you daft Snag, you've got to light the candles inside the tin first!"
A man goes into a pub with a duck and a biscuit tin.
He asks the landlord if he can show off his dancing duck to earn some beer and the landlord agrees.
He puts the tin on the bar and the duck on the tin and starts playing his mouth organ.
The duck starts tap dancing like flump on the top of the tin.
Word of this gets round and people are flocking in to see the dancing duck.
The landlord offers big money to buy the duck off the guy, so money and duck change hands.
Next time the bloke goes into the pub, the barman complains that he's been robbed because the duck won't dance. "Maybe I'm playing the wrong tune", he says. To demonstrate this, he puts the tin on the bar, the duck on the tin, plays a tune but the duck just stands there.
The bloke says to him, "you daft Snag, you've got to light the candles inside the tin first!"
This one alba?
Man walks into a bar with biscuit tin and a duck.
"Landlord", he says, "this here is a dancing duck - it will drag folk in for miles around and will make you a fortune."
With that, he places the tin on the bar, and the duck on the tin.
"Put on some music", so the landlord puts a few coins in the jukebox.
The duck starts to hop from one leg to the other, pretty much in time with the songs.
"That is fantastic", says the landlord, "How much for the dancing duck???"
After much haggling, they settle on £500. The man leaves a card with his mobile number, and the landlord puts a big sign up outside the pub, advertising his new attraction.
The pub steadily fills, loads of beer is sold, everyone is enthralled by the dancing duck, hopping away to the sounds from the jukebox.
The landlord rings 'Time' and all drift off home.
All that is left is a quiet, empty pub but the duck is still dancing.
The landlord has a pint, thinks about it,but doesn't know what to do. The duck is STILL dancing, so he rings the man on the mobile number he has left.
"Hi," he says,"Its me, at the pub; all the punters have gone home, the jukebox is off but the duck wont stop dancing," he says.
"What should I do???" he asks....
"No Problem," says the man, "Just lift the biscuit tin lid and blow out the candle."
Man walks into a bar with biscuit tin and a duck.
"Landlord", he says, "this here is a dancing duck - it will drag folk in for miles around and will make you a fortune."
With that, he places the tin on the bar, and the duck on the tin.
"Put on some music", so the landlord puts a few coins in the jukebox.
The duck starts to hop from one leg to the other, pretty much in time with the songs.
"That is fantastic", says the landlord, "How much for the dancing duck???"
After much haggling, they settle on £500. The man leaves a card with his mobile number, and the landlord puts a big sign up outside the pub, advertising his new attraction.
The pub steadily fills, loads of beer is sold, everyone is enthralled by the dancing duck, hopping away to the sounds from the jukebox.
The landlord rings 'Time' and all drift off home.
All that is left is a quiet, empty pub but the duck is still dancing.
The landlord has a pint, thinks about it,but doesn't know what to do. The duck is STILL dancing, so he rings the man on the mobile number he has left.
"Hi," he says,"Its me, at the pub; all the punters have gone home, the jukebox is off but the duck wont stop dancing," he says.
"What should I do???" he asks....
"No Problem," says the man, "Just lift the biscuit tin lid and blow out the candle."
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."
The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"
The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"
The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
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