heart break

[numnut1]

how after two months still feel a physical pain of my ex cheating , how can i still not put the radio on incase reminds me of him x i had a date last week and all i kept thinking (poor guy not his fault) youre not him x will this pain ever end x

[ummmm]

Yes, it'll end.

2 months is still early days.

[nungate]

Take time out of dating until you feel better and are more prepared to comtemplate a new relationship

[andy-hughes]

They say 'time is a great healer' - but they always neglect to say how much time that might be!

It's different for everyone, but it doesn't work in a linear fashion -it's not a train on a track, and each day you are further away from the pain than ytou were yesterday.

Rather, it's like a small boat on the ocean, some days you pooter along in bright sunshine, making progress, then a massive storm appears and blows you further back than where you started.

Be good to yourself - enjoy the things you like to do with friends, or by yourself, and don;t get hung up in the need to replace him - you don't 'need' to, and you won't anyway.

What will happen is that this experience will weave its way into the fabric of your life, and eventually it will be an experience that has made you the person you have become, but it will take time, and there are no short cuts.

Be patient, and ignore time going by, it's not a race, no-one is waiting with a gold medal because you 'got over' him in double quick time.

So be aware that this is a work in progress, and don't make any rash decisions about anything - just be gentle with yourself, and you will get past this - promise x

[numnut1]

beautiful words andy thank you means alot xxxxxx

[numnut1]

Well hello all x after much pleading we got back together x in his eyes I can do no wrong but I just can't love him half as much is this normal?

[andy-hughes]

Perfectly normal.

Your hurt will not simply evaporate because the cause appears to have been removed - it hasn't. The cause was your breakup, and getting back together does not un-ring that bell.

By all means give it a go - you have nothing to lose, and can only end up where you were - less hurt this time, because the experience does make future experiences a little easier to bear, because you know the script this time around.

But be prepared that the wounds that split you first time are simply scabbed over, and you or he or both may scratch them open again - and you may not be able to get past what has happened.

Take it nice and steady, and be sure you see what is happening, not what one or both of you wish was happening.

NB - men's meotional hard-wiring means that they are cvapable of actually not seeing circumstances if they don;t suit what the man wants to see - so bear that in mind and trust your own instincts.