Ok here is the question.

[boona]

My Ghanaian husband passed away 4 weeks ago in a car accident (he was a passenger) I loved him very much and I thought he loved me, however it has now come to light that he was having an affair (maybe more than one) before his death and was also advertising himself as single on dating websites so he could find some mug to send him money (like I was!). Now my husband was a pastor and prayed day and night, he talked in tongues and seemed paassionate about God. I was pretty much a non believer before I met him but he encouraged me to go to church and converted me. This to me makes his actions very surprisig as he used to council couple at the church on infidelity (or maybe this was a lie also)
He came to the uk twice last year and I concieved (I had been trying to concieved for 10yrs - against the odds as I had very few eggs. My daughter was born very early at 26wks and is my little miracle. My question is this - if everything hapens for a reason then what was the reason for his death? Do u think god took him because he was troubled or bad? Im trying to make sense of it.

[Old_Geezer]

I am sorry your husband was not the person you thought him to be. I hope you can pick up the pieces and return to normality as soon as possible.

You may tell if you wish. Would it make you feel any better ? I suspect all you will do by volunteering such information is to upset the Reverend you refer to. But it is your choice.

[boona]

Jack, thankyou. Was I right to pry into my late husbands emails and find out what was going on? I am very confused right now. At first I was grieving for a husband who I thought was so true to me, but after seeing these emails, I have discovered he was a very mean man and I feel that he doesnt deserve my grieving.

His Aunt said she will wanted to support me and his daughter here, but she wont if I keep digging up dirt about him and telling her of it.

[boona]

Thanks Old Geezer, I dont want to upset the Reverend here in the UK, but I think I need her help to get me through this as I am full of a lot of anger and bitterness which I dont like feeling and I need to let go. In order for her to help me I feel I should be honest with her. Comments please.

[society]

Boona, if you keep everything bottled up inside you, you will be stifling your conscience with his lies and secrets. You may not have peace within yourself unless you rid your conscience of this. His aunt is trying to blackmail you. I don’t think you should give her the opportunity to do that.

[boona]

Thankyou again for replying but should I come clean to the Reverend here in the UK?

[Anngel]

I am confused. If he was your husband why was he not living with you? Sounds to me like you had a lucky escape. You now have a beautiful daughter but will not have to spend any time with her lying cheat of a father. You were sending him money too??? So you will have that now as well. Well rid I'd say.