Scotch!..
A man walks into a pub and says to the barman, ‘I want you to give me a 12-year scotch, and don’t try to fool me, because I can tell the difference.’ The barman is sceptical and decides to try to trick the man with five-year scotch, he takes a sip...Yuk! this crap is five-year scotch. I told you I want 12-year scotch.’
The barman tries once more with eight-year scotch. The man takes a sip, grimaces and says, ‘Barman, I don’t want eight-year scotch. Give me 12-year scotch!’ Impressed, the barman gets the 12-year scotch. The man takes a sip and sighs, ‘Ah, now that’s the real thing.’
A drunk has been watching this with great interest. He stumbles over, sets a glass down in front of the man, and says, ‘Hey, try this one.’ The man takes a sip and immediately spits it out again, ‘Yechhh!
This stuff tastes like p!ss!’ The drunk says, ‘Yeah. Now guess how old am I?’