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contraception!
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I am thinking of losing my virginity next week with some who moved away a year ago and he is coming home to see me I cant wait to see him, I am 17 and goin 2 take a condom with me will I need to take the morning after pill with me aswell?
xx
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I would take more than one condom, You never know sometimes they split whilst going on etc... I would also (although I imagine you have) think this over, if he lives away the probability of you seeing him may be small and he may only be coming back for one thing? - I hope not for you. You shouldnt need a morning after pill as long as you make sure you use condoms at all times, which obviously you should with all and any partners until you are in a long term relaionship and have both been tested then the pill generally comes into play.
Are you on the pill at all? - might be worth looking into as extra protection against preganancy. The pill is a good form of protection and generally side affect free, although it does not agree with some people myself included.
Absence may make the heart grow fonder but it doesn't make the brain any smarter.
He's been gone a year. Was there much of a serious correspondence between the two of you during that whole time?
Is he really your "Mr. Right"? If not then you'd be better off waiting. You have your whole life of sex ahead of you but only one time of losing your virginity. Make sure you aren't using it simply to try to hold on to him.
Sex can be like a drug -- once turned on to it it is very difficult to avoid it. Is he staying or leaving for another year?
You said you were "thinking" of losing your virginity. Just think twice before deciding.
go and get the pill now as its better to be safe than sorry..you dont want to be taking morning after pills as they can make you feel ill...if you are on the pill you wont need to worry about things like that...the only concern i have is this person is coming for a visit then will go again..leaving you with what?? you would be better off finding someone here and available..i am sure you are worth more than a casual fling with someone that may come and go and never return...
Kezia,
The pill will be no good for you if youare planning this for next week. Not only do you need to start taking it at the beginning of your next period it also does not protect you straight away. Some say it takes at least 7days and some say it takes the whole of the first pill pack. Also don't ever forget the pill does not protect against STD's - you don't know what this guys been getting up to for the last year.
As for the losing your virginity, just make sure that you are ready and this really is the person that you want to lose it too. Don't have it in your head that the first time is this wonderful, romantic, sensual thing ass it really isn't in most cases. It can be painful, uncomfortable and embarrasing (especially if you bleed) which is why it is best to have it with someone special who you can go through this with at ease. I was the same age as you when I lost mine and I had been with my bloke for 3 months. Even then it was embarrasing.
You should not need to take the morning after pill so long as you are very careful and check the condom afterwards. If it will put your mind at rest then go ahead but don't forget it works best within 24 hours of sex. It does also have side effects, I have taken it once and it gave me stomach cramps, dizziness and nausea but it only lasts a few hours.
Lastly just make sure you really are ready and he is the one to take your virginity. Think it through and have plenty of condoms if you go ahead wih it. If you do go ahead with it then I hope you enjoy it more than I did and I hope it is special for you as it really should be. But mostly be very careful.
Take care, Lisa
Whatever contraception you use has a degree of failure. Nothing is 100% reliable. Therefore, for every 100 people having sex once using a condom, one will get pregnant.Same with the pill, or even more.
Only have sex if you think you can handle the consequences- IF you get pregnant, what will you do? Keep the baby? Will he come and live with you (at home) and be supportive? Will he go back to where he lives? Will you have an abortion? Abortion also carries a certain amount of risk- my friend had one and now cannot get pregnant.
You also risk getting a STD. Is he a virgin too? How do you know? What if he slept with someone who was carrying the HIV virus? You just don't know.
I would wait until you are in a stable, supportive relationship, with someone who you love.
Loads of excellent advice on here.
Please at least wait until you and he have had a chance to get together again and see how your feelings for each other develop. Enjoy the experience of meeting up with him again. You need to be with each other, talk to each other, and above all build up complete trust before you start contemplating a sexual relationship. This guy has been away a year and all sorts of things could have changed - don't rush headlong into this relationship.
Hopefully, all will turn out well for the both of you, but give it some time.
I would tend to disagree with the idea that you shouldn't plan losing your virginity. When I was with my ex we talked about 'the first time' for a month or so before going for it and we'd been together for 4 - 5 months already. I'm not saying that this has to be the time scale that everyone works on but it meant we were absolutely sure we loved each other and that was what we both wanted for sure. Is this guy a virgin too? Were you actually in a steady relationship before you left? Are you actually going to be in a relationship with him after that night? Do you love him? All these are key issues. In terms of whether he's a virgin it has it's pros and cons. Firstly it means there would be no embarrassment as both of you would be as inexperienced as each other and should therefore not feel under pressure, on the other hand if he's had experience then I guess he could kind of guide you through it. Every person's experience is totally different put these are definitely all key issues to think about, and you should think really hard cos you only lose your virginity once. Plus, even if you break up with this guy (as I have with my ex), you will always have a special bond with the first person you do it with and will always remember him, so you need to be sure that this is something that you'll enjoy remembering for your whole life, or something you'll want to forget. Obviously it's very difficult to predict how it's gonna go, but you need to think about how you think this guy is going to treat you afterwards. Think hard, but if you do decide to go for it, good luck! It's an amazing experience! x
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