Honeymoon period?

[Scarlett]

I have been good pals with a man for the last 2 years. We have had quite an intense relationship, starting up a band, gigging, writing and recording. All of a sudden he has stopped being nice. It's as if he can't be bothered with me anymore, and is taking me for granted. I asked him if he was okay and he said he had lost confidence cos of a few bad days in the studio. But that doesn't explain why he is being weird with me.

Is this what ultimately happens to friendships? Right now I feel like disappearing off, leaving the band and letting him appreciate what I offered! But it could be that it is nothing to do with me at all. I hate this atmosphere. What should I do??!

[Lollyhoney]

Some blokes get funny when they like you too much rather than not liking you at all!! Make your move if you're interested!

[andy-hughes]

It could be a number of things -

he may have a female interest that is giving him grief about his relationship with you.

he may want to take things further with you, but is unsure how you will react.

he may be finding the closeness of your relationship a strain, and feel unable to explain to you.

What ever it is, you need to get it sorted. Being in a band is just like being married - without the sex - and communication lines get broken or twsited very easily.

Confront him, gently, and ask him to tell you what is wrong. He may be glad of a chance to get it off his chest, and the two of you can sort things out one way or anyother, and move on.

[Scarlett]

It may be worth me pointing out that he is happily married with 2 kids, and our relationship is platonic. His wife has never seemed to have a problem with me, that I know of. I think the change has come from him, not her.

[DMA]

He fancies you but thinks you will turn him down

[zara 4]

Perhaps his feelings toward you are changing or maybe things are a bit tough at home at moment,either way if he needs a friend then be there if he needs to talk!

[Paul22118]

Scarlett, when I read the question I thought of an answer then read the answers and most have given my original thoughts.

As I re-read the question the reasons you are looking for hit me in the face.

This is simply a guy that likes you and has been nice and the relationaship is cool. HOWEVER, the wife has smelled a rat (justly or not - the truth rarely matters) and it is there that the poison has been laid down.

I see few options.

1. Drop him and call it a day.

2. Confront him

3. Confront her.

From my male perspective go with option one.