How Do I Fond Out Where My Stillborn Baby Is Burried

tinacm | 23:51 Fri 07th Feb 2014 | How it Works

36 Answers

Hi,
I am really desperate for help. in November 1958 my mother had a stillborn son, It has been a 55 almost 56 year torment, he was born at home in Doncaster, Them taken to Western Road Hospital, this Hospital no longer exists. She didn't get to hold her child or anything, she was just forgotten basically, I have been browsing this site to see if i can get any help. so please please if you can help me to help my mother it would finally help her say goodbye, she is 75 now and still cries over him, its been a cruel torment for her, I so want to give her the unanswered questions she has held for so many years.

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EDDIE51

I am afraid that the fact that the baby was immediately removed without the mum even being allowed to hold him suggests that it was born with a major disability or disfigurement . In those days that was thought to be the best thing to do to avoid upsetting the mother even more. I know this is not what you want to hear but it may well be true. I think the kindest thing to do for your Mum may be to tell her the child would have been buried in the Hospital grounds but the site has now been redeveloped so no longer exists.

chrissa1

It was the words, "clinical waste" that I thought could have been omitted

EDDIE51

'clinical waste' includes such items as amputated limbs and bits removed during operations, I am afraid that is very likely to have been the fate of a stillborn foetus 50 years ago .

tinacm

Question Author

Hi everyone, once again thank you for your posts. its so nice to receive your comments. Eddie51 I appreciate your comments but my brother was born full term and unfortunately he was born breech, his feet 12 hours before the rest of him and he drown in the fluids, up to this point he was ok. i have found out he had a Post Morton. I he however been contacted by our local council within this department area and have passed on the information they asked for, so fingers crossed this could have a ending with some sweetness xx

chrissa1

Good luck, tinacm.

black_cat51

lovely eddie, a full term still birth is not classed as a foetus, and it's very offensive to say so

pixie373

I really hope you get some answers, tina

Peter Pedant

Home deliveries in 1958 - I estimate the youngest person to have done this would now by 75. The 'district ' would be covered by the district midwife and the GP called when the child is ready to be delivered. Medical students I think were not on the district at that time.

Even for 1958 the delivery is complicated. The breech can only be an undiagnosed breech really until you see the child's bottom instead of his head.
A 12h first stage is easily enough time to get to hospital if the 'team' wanted it. Breech delivery is more complicated....

This is a fresh still-birth - I think we would call it an intra partum death
Today there would be all sorts of questions to ask ....
It would not surprise me if there were no records at all kept of these events

tinacm

Question Author

hello again everyone.
This is incredible news, I know where he is!
I got the information today whilst i was at work. I have the date of the burial which was the 7th of November 1958, 3 days after his birth. He is in a grave with several other stillborn babies, In a strange way im kinds glad he is not alone, although sad at the same time that other babies were born asleep, i have the plot number which is unlikely to have any markings, but the cemetery attendant is happy to meet us and take us, particularly my mother and father to visit his grave. I cant even begin to tell you what this news did for my mother, but I'm sure you can imagine. its incredible how fast this all happened, Thank you all once again for your help, advise and kind words, xx

tinacm

Question Author

ps, I am not marking a best answer because all were valid points and informative options to which i am grateful, xx