wedding

[mnko]

Hi

me and my partner are getting married in september and we already live 2gether. my question is how do u write on the invitation that we would like money as gifts and not household gifts. my partner is worrying herself over this.

many thx

[flipflop104]

I don't mean to be sound horrible here, but, worry she should.

We're off to a wedding at the end of this month and they've asked for money (to answer your actual question, they wrote a little poem/ditty and put it in with the invite) and we can't believe how cheeky it is (especially since we know that theirs is to pay off huge debts they've run up and their rent, bills, etc. cos they can't afford it cos of the debts).

We have bought them travel luggage (as we know they haven't got any and they're getting their honeymoon as a present from their brother and aunt and uncle).

I'm sorry but there must be household things that you still need (or would like to replace) - I've been with my gf now for 7 years and there's still things we'd like for our home that we could maange to think up for our wedding day (if we were to have one).

Or I'd ask for vouchers towards a honeymoon/holiday to remember (all from the same travel company of course) but asking for money, in my opinion, is a bit cheeky.

[PatriciaH]

1st of all congratulations! as you know all the people going to your wedding it should be ok to ask for money, they will realise you have most or everything you need already and it saves them having to go out shopping for the present as well, many of which could be duplicated..ask them im sure itl be ok .. good luck x

[mnko]

we live in dublin but im from chester england and were getting married in chester aswell so that is also part of the reason for asking for money.

[Oneeyedvic]

We got married 2 1/2 years ago - we had been living together for 7 years prior to that. Funnily enough, there was nothing that we wanted for our home that we could ask for (a plasma tv would have been nice!).

We suggested that people buy us booze (something that we would always welcome) and gave a list of drinks that we liked: Jack Daniels, Baileys, Tia Maria, Medium White wine.

Some people bought us 1 bottle of white wine, some people bought us a bottle of all the drinks. Some people bought us a crate of wine - Any budget could be catered for.

The only other wedding I have been to recently asked for money / travellers cheques - they were emmigrating to Australia pretty much straight away, so it was obvious the reason why.

Personally speaking, I have no problem with asking for money - and would give it quite happily if asked for.

[Ethel]

You will have to accept that some people will take offence, no matter how well you word it.

If you don't need gifts, you could suggest that gifts are not to be given and donations may be made to your favourite charity.

:)

[Pippa68]

I put a little note in with the invites saying that the best gift of all was having the guests there to help us celebrate our wedding (living together for 10 years ~ no household stuff needed at all!). I wrote that if they felt they wanted to gift, some money would be be appreciated in order for us to have a little bit extra spending money for our honeymoon. I did make sure that the guests new this was not expected.

We ended up with over �700 which totally stunned us as we only had 40 guests..there was only one person who took us to our word & didn't gift (the richest blighter there, in fact ;o) but to be honest we didn't expect anything from anyone.

I agree that if you have invited good friends then they shouldn't be offended. What good is there giving something the couple don't want? why is it more cheeky to ask for money then to ask for a particular dinner service from Harrods? our guests happened to like doing this for us as they knew where the money was going.

Please tell your partner not to worry, & enjoy the day :o)

[Pippa68]

Oneeyedvic what an excellent idea! surely this kind of predicament must be so common now considering most couples live together for quite a while before marriage?

I remember reading about a couple who chose presents for a wedding list & then sold the lot in order to have the cash instead..

[kazza12345]

personally, i think having a list that you give to people is the height of rudeness anyway, you should just let people ask you if you have a wedding list/preference, rather than just say "here is a list of things you can get us" or"we would like money"

[Hgrove]

i do not think it is right to ask for money but if that is what you wish to do, then say so politely in a letter suggesting that the guests are not obliged; we are going to a wedding soon, the bride and groom wrote to say they do not need anything but would be very grateful for "a few pennies" towards their honeymoon. Another bride and groom last year wrote they did not expect a present but if someone wished to give them something, then a John Lewis voucher would be welcome and they would put it towards (I think) a cabinet for their tv/dvd player.