what am i doing wrong??!

[yellowocean]

Any comments from male or female would be appreciated pls! I am finding that honesty does not pay off in relationships and as i am getting older (27) its staring to concern me a tad! I am a positive person considered attractive, i don't rely on blokes for money and to my knowledge can hold a converstation BUT i like my own friends, space and am convinced this is good for a relationship. However, i do tell chaps this and they all agree...at first. Then they want to get married within a few months, stop seeing their friends and start to nag about 'why i want a night apart'. I don't play mind games, dont sulk and i am finding this a negative thing!! Can't win. Am i doing something clearly wrong just because i am not ' needy'? Help plesase. P.S My sis thinks its becuase i appear unlandable that blokes like it? But that does not make any sense. I can't change and wouldn't want to. I like to travel and do stuff. Would rather climb a mountain that get a bunch of flowers and i am starting to worry i might end up living with 600 cats and cupboard full of defrosted yoghurt. Any suggestionsx

[raysparx]

hello yellow,

you sound great to me,all of us men say we want independant women,but we are all a bit insecure, I don't think you are doing anything wrong,you just haven't met the right bloke yet,he is out there somewhere,just carry on as you are and don't change, daft thing is my two sons aged 30 & 27,have exactly the same feelings as you. Shall I start a dating agency???

take care, Ray x

[Azimov]

YellowOcean?
Does that mean you pee in the sea?
Not that that would put me off, I mean I'm as liberated as the next guy, assuming the next guy is Graham Norton of course!

Incidentally, I'm allergic to cats (but I love em anyway!) and I have a penchant for frozen yoghurt!
I'm 41, ugly as roadkill and smell about the same!
I have a full time job, but I'm on minimum wage and have so many direct debits I couldn't sell blood without my bank manager's approval!
I hope you aren't one of those shallow types, 'cause I'd like to meet you!

PS, Please call me first, I might need time to put my dentures in and empty my colostomy bag before we date! :)

[lady_p_gold]

Well I have a phrase "don't buy a white dog and then try and change it to a black dog" which is what so many people do in relationships. Just be yourself and find your soulmate, who will not mind a bit and who will love you for all that you are and who will let you flourish and grow as a person. You would not be able to bend and change anyway to fit someone's needs, it works for a while and then like a toothpaste tube with a split in it, it all starts bubbling over into resentment.

[yellowocean]

Thankyou for the help. I was bracing myself for a torrent of abuse to be honest from people calling me an ungrateful she-rat. I don't pee in the sea, but thats only because my mum told me some parasite can swim up your 'flower' and well, its not good! Maybe Ray should start a dating agency... I bet people have hooked up on this Q n A site. Ive never used it before but i will show it my cats later. And thanks Lady P .I will remain the same Dog nature intended! I must go now as i'm starting to day dream abaout colostomy man :-) x

[Aprilis]

Sorry yellowocean but I just have to ask Asimov...Do you have the shoes to match your bag? Yellow don't go for a man who doesn't know how to accessorize! Ahhh, the fragrance of Eau De Peace...hahahahahaha!

[Aprilis]

On a more serious note yellow, I am glad to hear that you refuse to change for anyone. Quite right too. Always stay true to yourself is my motto. The right person for you is the one who accepts you and loves you for who you are. That person will most likely arrive in your life when you aren't looking. If he arrives wearing hiking/climbing boots and a backpack...pay attention!