By popular demand (not to mention the blackmail and threats of physical violence) I have been asked to use my considerable talents to provide AB horoscopes. I will be using the old Yorkshire methods...
Chicken: As a roast dinner with chips and salad something foreign -eg Curry and rice or Caccitore and noodles Beef: As a roast dinner as a steak with all the trimmings Something foreign - curry and...
As expected. Cos he's a Cabinet minister, Huhne gets light sentence of 8 months. Probably serve 4 months. Also possible 10% reduction from sentence 'cos he pleaded guilty. Huh - he repeatedly denied...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2286391/Headmasters-message-announcing-teachers-retirement-hid-coded-insult-spotted-colleague.html For setting out this message on the retirement of a teacher...
A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from Tesco. Her condition is said to be stable. ***************** So they have found a Horse burger in Tesco. What's next, My Lidl...
An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house. As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign...
A man and wife were having an argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning. The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first.The husband said that she was in charge of...
So I was in Liverpool, having a shyte in the public toilets. When a scouse voice in the next cubicle says;"Hey mate, there"s no loo roll in "ere. Pass us some through, will ya? ."So I unravelled a few...
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was driving home, and was pulled over by a traffic copper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could...
A Deaf couple are getting married, and the groom to be decides that they should make sure from the start that they understand important matters, so using sign language he explains to his bride: "When...
1. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a Diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade. 2. I don't like wearing pantyhose. Every time I fart I...
A big American tourist stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Spain. While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table....
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted...
Three Nun's were talking. The first nun said ' I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines'. 'What did you do? the other nuns asked....
The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone. "Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word...
Given everything has to be "taught" in the Army, from cleaning your teeth, to shaving, ironing and polishing your boots, are you surprised that there are instructions on how to clean one's self down...