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BANANASPLITS

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BANANASPLITS

Husband And Wife....

Husband: "When I get mad you never fight back. How do you control your anger?" Wife: "I clean the toilet." Husband: "How does that help?" Wife: "I use your toothbrush!"...
12:02 Sun 14th Oct 20184 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 12:52 Sun 14th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Forest Gump?

Does anybody know which actor played Forrest Gump? Thanks...
12:16 Sat 13th Oct 201817 answers, last by zebo 15:40 Sat 13th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Lady's Hairdressers....

Our local lady's hairdressers got robbed earlier today. Police are combing the area!...
19:21 Fri 12th Oct 20189 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 09:29 Sat 13th Oct 2018
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I Was Shopping In Hmv.....

Shop assistants are so rude these days. I went into HMV and asked if they had any DVDs about people stranded on a desert island... The assistant told me to get Lost!...
12:35 Fri 12th Oct 20184 answers, last by Arksided 14:53 Fri 12th Oct 2018
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New Business ......

I'm starting a new business up making glass coffins. I wonder if they will be popular? Remains to be seen!...
09:00 Fri 12th Oct 20181 answer, last by Shaglene 12:10 Fri 12th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Harry Potter.....

Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate. They're both cauldron....
15:16 Thu 11th Oct 20182 answers, last by elliemay1 19:29 Thu 11th Oct 2018
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No Good At Poetry....

They told me I’d never be any good at poetry because I’m dyslexic..... Last laugh is on them. So far I’ve made 2 jugs and a vase!...
10:40 Thu 11th Oct 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 11:20 Thu 11th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Film Title

morning all trying to get an old film title if i remember right its about 6-8 people stuck in an american diner in the desert surrounded by a force field possibly being attacked by an alien sci fi or...
09:51 Thu 11th Oct 201812 answers, last by murraymints 10:48 Thu 11th Oct 2018
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Fired From Job!

My dwarf friend got fired from his low paying waiter job. He's now struggling to put food on the table....
20:39 Wed 10th Oct 20189 answers, last by Bazile 12:10 Fri 12th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Was?

Was Barry white ? Was Marvin gay ? Was cilla black ? Sure makes stevie wonder .......
17:26 Wed 10th Oct 201825 answers, last by THECORBYLOON 21:28 Wed 10th Oct 2018
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Post Office....

Handing over my I.D. at the post office, the clerk blurts out, "You've aged a bit since this photo was taken"... "You're dead right love!" I replied. "I had it taken just before I joined your bloody...
16:09 Wed 10th Oct 20183 answers, last by Bazile 16:19 Wed 10th Oct 2018
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My Missus Again.....

My missus isn’t talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday. I’m not sure how. I didn’t even know it was her birthday....
18:25 Tue 09th Oct 20181 answer, last by Arksided 12:48 Wed 10th Oct 2018
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An Old Mate .....

I bumped into an old mate of mine today. I asked him "What you up to these days?" He said "I prepare meals for the homeless, druggies, drunks and down 'n' outs" I said "so you work in a charity drop...
11:04 Tue 09th Oct 20184 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 11:08 Tue 09th Oct 2018
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Village Chemist Shop....

A young girl started work in the village chemist shop. She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public. The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be...
10:33 Mon 08th Oct 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 11:41 Mon 08th Oct 2018
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Father I Have Sinned. ...

A man enters a confessional, and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession, and I've sinned with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The Priest tells...
18:50 Sun 07th Oct 20181 answer, last by cupid04 16:11 Mon 08th Oct 2018
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My Dad.....

My Dad once said to me, "If you really want something in life, you've got to get out there and grab it with both hands." So I did... Now big Brenda the barmaid at the 'Rose and Crown' has reported me...
12:22 Sun 07th Oct 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 13:14 Sun 07th Oct 2018
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How Many.....

How many beers does it take to get a tropical bird drunk? Toucans...
11:22 Sun 07th Oct 201813 answers, last by Patsy33 13:05 Sun 07th Oct 2018
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Divorce....

Me: "I want to divorce my wife." Solicitor: "On what grounds?" Me: "She's out all night, every night, going from bar to bar." Solicitor: "Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's...
10:05 Sat 06th Oct 20184 answers, last by retrocop 14:00 Sat 06th Oct 2018
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New Job....

I started a new job last week in a furniture making warehouse and slipped and fell into the upholstery machine? Im all right, now. In fact, im fully recovered....
18:31 Fri 05th Oct 201816 answers, last by Patsy33 20:55 Fri 05th Oct 2018
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At The Library....

I went into the local library and asked, "Have you got a book about micro penises?" The librarian replied, "Let me see if it's in." I said, "Yes that's the one!"...
19:05 Thu 04th Oct 20185 answers, last by marval 16:42 Fri 05th Oct 2018

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