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BANANASPLITS

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BANANASPLITS

Life After Death. ...

Boss.."do you believe in life after death " Me.."certainly not there's no proof in it" Boss.."well there is now after you took half a day off yesterday for your uncles funeral he came here looking for...
12:17 Sun 28th Oct 20187 answers, last by retrocop 19:45 Sun 28th Oct 2018
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Patsy33

I Found Myself

I found myself in Gerry Rafferty’s Ladies Boutique the other day. Gowns to the left of me, chokers to the right…...
18:52 Sat 27th Oct 201823 answers, last by Patsy33 20:20 Sat 27th Oct 2018
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lankeela

"did You Hear About

the woman who beat her husband to death with a guitar and got let off with a caution?" "First offender?" "No first a Gibson, then a Fender."...
18:45 Sat 27th Oct 201810 answers, last by Patsy33 19:08 Sat 27th Oct 2018
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grumpy01

Glenn Hoddle

It has been reported that Glenn Hoddle is seriously ill in hospital after collapsing this morning. No further news seems available at the moment.I'm sure everyone wishes him a speedy recovery.
18:42 Sat 27th Oct 201821 answers, last by emmie 06:53 Sun 28th Oct 2018
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Patsy33

My Mate..

My mate came from a broken home, his dad was a shocker at DIY....
11:35 Sat 27th Oct 201810 answers, last by Shaglene 14:01 Sun 28th Oct 2018
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maggiebee

Ruth Davidson

Just heard that Ruth Davidson had given birth to a boy. The Scottish Conservative leader tweeted on Friday afternoon that she and her partner Jen Wilson named the child Finn Paul Davidson. He weighed...
15:03 Fri 26th Oct 2018195 answers, last by mum2miraclez 21:04 Tue 27th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Specsavers.....

A Polish man goes to Specsavers for an eye test. The optician shows him a board with the letters CZWIXNOSTACZ on it and says, "Can you read that?" "Read it," says the Pole, "that's my brother in-laws...
19:31 Fri 26th Oct 20189 answers, last by retrocop 20:15 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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retrocop

Art Heist

Paddy says to Murphy, “I robbed a shop last night.” “I took a load of pictures, the cheapest one is worth £180.000.” Murphy says, “Paddy ya daft begger, you’ve robbed an estate agent.”...
13:47 Fri 26th Oct 20189 answers, last by Spicerack 18:42 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Fight The Flab....

I saw a sign on a doorway it said "come on in and fight the flab ". Ive been meaning to lose weight So I went in. The flab was a 25 stone female sumo wrestler who beat the granny out of me....
12:40 Fri 26th Oct 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 18:15 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Is It To Much?

Is it to much to ask the Romans to re-invade Britain again. Someone needs to re-surface the roads !...
16:17 Fri 26th Oct 20185 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 16:37 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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Khandro

An 'oldie' Award, Surely?

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1036830/102-year-old-man-slept-on-roof-three-nights...
16:20 Fri 26th Oct 20187 answers, last by marval 17:44 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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spathiphyllum

Did You Know....

If every ABER in the country flushed their toilets at the same time, then the UK would end up 5 ft higher above sea level....
16:15 Fri 26th Oct 201854 answers, last by Old_Geezer 10:48 Sat 27th Oct 2018
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Patsy33

A Friend

A friend got a job as a postman. On his first day, he was handed a letter. He looked at it, and thought “this isn’t for me”....
15:49 Fri 26th Oct 20189 answers, last by Patsy33 18:18 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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retrocop

Golf In Heaven

Two old men had been friends most of their lives. When it was clear that Frank was dying, Leonard visited him every day. One day Leonard said, "Frank, we both loved playing golf all our lives, and we...
10:56 Fri 26th Oct 20185 answers, last by aelmpvw 18:05 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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Patsy33

Boat Builder

. .A boat builder is showing his son part of the timber store and says, "Son, one day this will all be oars"...
11:49 Fri 26th Oct 20188 answers, last by Patsy33 12:59 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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Baldric

It's Been One Hell Of A Week So Far,

Early hours of Monday morning, 04:00ish, Mrs B had a fall on the stairs. We sleep downstairs, there are two Loos on the ground floor, so don't know why she was on the stairs at all. She has broken a...
17:24 Thu 25th Oct 201835 answers, last by Baldric 19:30 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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nailit

Could You Cope With A Week Of Your Own Company

No friends/family to deal with. No phone/internet/tv/radio etc. Just a week on your own...basically solitary confinement. You could have books to read or music to listen to and essentials like food,...
17:48 Thu 25th Oct 201870 answers, last by Cloverjo 22:19 Thu 25th Oct 2018
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retrocop

Dyslexics

Bad news for male Dyslexics. On the 28th October your cocks go black :-( The man who invented the auto correct has passed away. May he Roast in ***....
18:23 Thu 25th Oct 201811 answers, last by AuntLydia 14:24 Fri 26th Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Sense Of Humour

My wife and I share a sense of humour. We have to because she hasn't bloody got one....
10:44 Thu 25th Oct 20183 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 15:06 Thu 25th Oct 2018
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anotheoldgit

Sadiq Khan Accuses Home Secretary Of "playing To The Far Right"

https://www.lbc.co.uk/radio/special-shows/speak-sadiq/sadiq-khan-accuses-home-secretary-far-right/ /// "These sick Asian paedophiles are finally facing justice. I want to commend the bravery of the...
07:55 Thu 25th Oct 2018138 answers, last by spathiphyllum 14:48 Thu 25th Oct 2018

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