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BANANASPLITS

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BANANASPLITS

Group Of People..

I looked out of my window and saw a group of people gathering around a bloke who came off his motorbike, so I frantically rushed over. "Out of the way!" I shouted, as I pushed through the crowd. "Are...
09:55 Sun 16th Sep 20185 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 17:30 Sun 16th Sep 2018
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Zacs-Master

John Lewis School Play Advert. Amazing

https://inews.co.uk/culture/television/new-john-lewis-waitrose-advert-bohemian-rhapsody/...
09:28 Sun 16th Sep 201820 answers, last by ummmm 11:52 Sun 16th Sep 2018
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Patsy33

Birthday Present

Bloke says to his Missus, "Hey fatso, what would you like for your birthday?" She says,"Don't get ****ing lippy!" He says, Ok, sorted. I'll get you a mascara".....
19:17 Fri 14th Sep 20188 answers, last by zebo 08:41 Sat 15th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

My Mate Just Phoned Me In Tears.

My mate just phoned me in tears. His wife just left him taking his Bob Marley CDs and the satellite dish. Poor sod. No woman no sky....
11:23 Fri 14th Sep 20185 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 15:20 Fri 14th Sep 2018
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Shaglene

Tiger Wood.................

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin." The husband replies,...
08:14 Fri 14th Sep 20183 answers, last by DTCwordfan 16:15 Fri 14th Sep 2018
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Theland

Atheism Cannot Answer The Big Questions.

Too often when discussing origins, atheists simply say, "we don't know," and put FAITH in science that one day the answers will come. But atheism is synonymous with evolution, for which there is not a...
02:28 Fri 14th Sep 201889 answers, last by Theland 02:15 Tue 25th Sep 2018
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marval

Threesome

I had a threesome with a scalene and an isosceles. It was a love triangle As expected, Doctor Who’s new herb range has been a success. After all, he is a Thyme Lord. The traditional Haggis recipe is...
20:47 Thu 13th Sep 201812 answers, last by Shaglene 07:58 Fri 14th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Two Italian Men...

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of...
18:01 Thu 13th Sep 20187 answers, last by dannyk13 08:18 Fri 14th Sep 2018
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col72

Karcher Window Vac

anyone got a karcher window vac what there like thinking about getting 1 thanks...
19:11 Thu 13th Sep 201814 answers, last by RobNorth 23:19 Thu 13th Sep 2018
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bigbecky

Do You Think 1 Hour 30 Minutes Is Too Long For An After School Detention ?

I have just got home from an after school detention, it was DULL , BORING and MISREABLE, it lasted for 1 and a half hours, this does not allow for the 5 minutes to get to the detention room then for...
17:55 Thu 13th Sep 201857 answers, last by Arksided 14:27 Fri 14th Sep 2018
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mallyh

Guess What

husband : "guess what .on my way to work I heard the postman say he'd seduced every woman on this street except one" wife: "huh! I bet it's that stuck up madam at number 23"...
15:21 Thu 13th Sep 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 18:33 Thu 13th Sep 2018
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Shaglene

Grandfather Of The Year............

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, and all sorts of things. The grandfather is...
15:14 Thu 13th Sep 20185 answers, last by Patsy33 18:32 Thu 13th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Dad..

Son: "Dad I've got a part in the school play. I play a man who's been married 25 years." Dad: "never mind son Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."...
14:54 Thu 13th Sep 20187 answers, last by spathiphyllum 15:09 Thu 13th Sep 2018
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Stephen_G

Racism, Part Ii

Paddy comes home from work to find his Wife propping up her washing machine on 2 bricks. "What the feck are you doing?" asks Paddy. His Wife replies "Doing the washing at 30 degrees, ya eejit!"...
18:03 Wed 12th Sep 20187 answers, last by Jordyboy9 15:08 Thu 13th Sep 2018
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anotheoldgit

Was This Church Of England School Right To Ban Rastafarian Dreadlocks?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6161817/Rastafarian-boy-12-wins-discrimination-case-dreadlocks-ban.html Once more it seems that we have been forced to back down from our rules in English...
09:55 Thu 13th Sep 2018248 answers, last by -Talbot- 12:39 Sat 15th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

An Essex Girl

An Essex girl tells her mum she's pregnant. 'Congratulations', said her mum. 'Do you know who the father is?' 'Mum, if you ate a tin of beans, would you know which one made you fart?'...
10:57 Thu 13th Sep 20188 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 11:19 Thu 13th Sep 2018
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spathiphyllum

Paddy Was On His Death Bed

Paddy was on his death bed and knew the end was near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in Belfast . He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a...
10:02 Thu 13th Sep 201813 answers, last by gulliver1 18:16 Thu 13th Sep 2018
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Patsy33

Stunt Pilot

My friend Kevin met a girl in the pub last night, and they ended up going home together. Tonight the girl walks into a supermarket and on her way round she sees Kevin...He was stacking washing powder...
19:23 Wed 12th Sep 20185 answers, last by Patsy33 22:16 Wed 12th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Leaning Tower Of Pisa

I bought my obsessive / compulsive mate a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa for his birthday. He's going mad trying to hang it straight....
09:17 Wed 12th Sep 201852 answers, last by ABSpareEditor 14:24 Wed 12th Sep 2018
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albaqwerty

Why I Stopped Golfing On Saturdays

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed my clubs, slipped quietly into the garage, put my clubs & cart into the trunk, and proceeded to back out into a torrential...
10:56 Wed 12th Sep 201810 answers, last by marval 17:42 Wed 12th Sep 2018

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