Berniecuddles2 Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Lottery

One day a wife comes home to her husband with a spectacular diamond ring. "Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks. "Well" She replied "My boss and I played the lottery and we won so I bought...

Patsy33

Toys R Us

I was in Toys R Use today when I noticed a long queue. I asked a member of staff what was going on. She said, "Oh, that's the Barbie queue". So like an idiot, I waited over an hour to get a bleedin...

Patsy33

Sandwich

Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires sticking out of it. He phones the Police and says, 'Bejaysus i've just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb' Is it ticking, the operator asks No i tink it's...

Ann

Happy Birthday Welsh Yorkie

Have a great birthday x

marval

Be My Guest

A British anthropologist was doing field research in an isolated African village, when a tribal chief asked if he would like to be his guest at a legal trial he was conducting later that day. "We have...

Smowball

Bizarre Experience

So, I applied and was accepted for a paid neurological survey re reactions to adverts on TV. I arrived at the building and was led to a room where they placed a swimming cap style cap full of holes on...

Chipchopper

Down On The Allotment...

I was mortified when I went to my allotment plot and found that some escaped chickens had completely devoured three rows of lettuce plants. I tracked down the owner of the chickens and complained...

emmie

Will You Be Donating To The Current Africa Fund

for the drought that has spread across Africa. Matt Baker made a heartfelt plea for help earlier....

Shaglene

Do You Have A Dog..........

Yesterday I was at my local store buying a large bag of Chum dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.. I told her that no, I didn't have a...

bhg481

Men Cross Your Legs; Ladies, Promise Not To Laugh.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-39285486...

marval

I Nearly

I nearly hit a cat driving my car today. Who on earth taught a cat to drive?...

waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Thursday. Yesterday turned out warm and sunny, but the breeze was a playing it cool. I had some progress doing things outside. More today if it's nice enough. A light mist at the moment, and cool...

ToraToraTora

Captions Please ....what Is Nicola Saying Here?

http://i65.tinypic.com/2qbsznm.jpg...

Shaglene

Reverend John Fluff..............

The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor in a small town in Ireland . One day he was walking down the high street when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The...

ToraToraTora

Next First Minister Of Scotland?

http://news.sky.com/story/ruth-davidson-the-woman-the-pm-is-relying-on-to-save-the-uk-10801872 Credited with "detoxifying" the tories in Scotland and with the Wee Un turning into Rab C Nesbit do you...

RATTER15

So You Fancy A Take-Away, Which Would Be Your Take-Away Of Choice?

We don't often eat take-away or fast food but on occasions, when we do, we eat Subway or McDonalds or the good old fish and chips, burger king as a last resort. Would never eat KFC So your options...

Togo

Cheltenham Festival 2017.

Well it seems like only yesterday that we were starting last years meeting. I have had a scan of the papers and web sites and have picked my horses for a little punt. The ones that I have marked * I...

allen

Swearing, Cursing, Infantile Regulations

Is there a list somewhere of what ABers can and can't type, 'swear-word' speaking? Seems if you write 'ass' (US) you can get away with it, but if you right '***' (UK), it gets asterisked. Similarly,...

emmie

So Muirfield Caved In Finally

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-39260578...

mikey4444

Lorry Driver: 'i Feel Like A Prisoner In My Own Lorry'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-39275153 The BBC gets a lot of stick on here, albeit from a few of the Usual Suspects, with their constant rants. But yet again, we must thank the Beeb for exposing...

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