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Chipchopper

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Chipchopper

Strewth!

Just woke up in bed with some sort of demonic, blurred faced entity coming to get me! I was kicking him away with my feet and shouting "go go get out". The funny thing was, I grabbed a garden hose and...
01:17 Fri 24th Apr 20208 answers, last by JimF 04:12 Fri 24th Apr 2020
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Canary42

It's Confession Time

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church and enters the confessional and sits down but says nothing. After a pause the priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest...
01:21 Fri 24th Apr 20202 answers, last by Patsy33 08:49 Fri 24th Apr 2020
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Patsy33

Drowned

"Our mate Dave was drowned. For the funeral we have a wreath made in the shape of a lifebelt. It’s what he would have wanted.”...
11:49 Thu 23rd Apr 20203 answers, last by Chipchopper 14:54 Thu 23rd Apr 2020
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marval

I Spotted

I spotted a lizard on a portable toilet. I suspect it was a commode-o-dragon....
13:37 Thu 23rd Apr 20202 answers, last by Chipchopper 14:46 Thu 23rd Apr 2020
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Thursday. All is tranquil outside. One lonely hedgehog on the patio, it seems happy enough. Some shoplifting required today, I hope my lovely street warden will do it for me. I might start to tackle...
04:31 Thu 23rd Apr 2020149 answers, last by rowanwitch 08:57 Thu 23rd Apr 2020
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Patsy33

Cross Bred Insects

I once knew a guy who cross bred insects for fun. I liked the guy at first, but eventually I got tired of his crazy ant ticks....
18:29 Wed 22nd Apr 20204 answers, last by Chipchopper 19:31 Wed 22nd Apr 2020
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Theland

Been Ill For Days

Hi all. Have spent most of the last few days in bed. Breathing problems and pain. On top of that, I am suffering the worst of depressions. Am waiting for an MRI bit can't have it during the present...
16:33 Wed 22nd Apr 202027 answers, last by tiggerblue10 10:15 Thu 23rd Apr 2020
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Chipchopper

Tato's In The Oven And Other Ways

Hi food friends, With the current situation, I'm looking at other methods of cooking the humble potato, be home grown or bought. I no longer have a deep fat firer but would like to know if its...
14:26 Tue 21st Apr 202011 answers, last by Chipchopper 08:05 Wed 22nd Apr 2020
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Wednesday. A bit late this morning, after a lousy night, all of three hours sleep, and that wasn't restful. I've no idea what it's like outside. I'll find out shortly when the sun comes up. A short...
05:08 Wed 22nd Apr 202098 answers, last by emmie 08:02 Wed 22nd Apr 2020
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Mags22

Sweet Peas

Is it ok to plant them in hanging baskets?
10:23 Tue 21st Apr 20204 answers, last by johnny.5 16:43 Tue 21st Apr 2020
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Tuesday. It's supposed to be sunny today. We shall see, if it is I'll spend some time out the back. might even flash up the barbie. Four hedgehogs in for supper last night. Always a pleasure to watch...
05:11 Tue 21st Apr 202084 answers, last by Chipchopper 09:12 Tue 21st Apr 2020
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Chipchopper

Restaurant Orders

I asked waiter "have you the Bombay duck ?. Waiter: "No sir its just the way I walk". I complained to the Chinese waiter about the chicken being rubbery and he replied "uh thank you very much Sir"...
10:34 Mon 20th Apr 20205 answers, last by mallyh 09:24 Tue 21st Apr 2020
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exarmy448

Timbucktoo

There was a national poetry competition which had reached its final between a University Professor and a country bumpkin. They were each given 20 seconds to come up with a poem using the word...
14:22 Mon 20th Apr 20204 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:14 Mon 20th Apr 2020
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Bazile

Annoying Adverts

Claudia Winkleman advert Which one gets on your wick ?...
18:36 Mon 20th Apr 202041 answers, last by CrapAtCryptics 09:15 Tue 21st Apr 2020
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pixie374

Slightly Dodgy...

https://i.postimg.cc/7ZqGQ9Nf/IMG-20200419-WA0013.jpg...
10:51 Mon 20th Apr 202010 answers, last by DTCwordfan 21:10 Tue 21st Apr 2020
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melv16

Congratulations To...

... Hugh Zappritti Boyden on becoming president of the British budgerigar association.
10:30 Mon 20th Apr 202018 answers, last by marval 22:57 Mon 20th Apr 2020
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melv16

Starter Thief..

Wanted Bread or olive......
11:59 Sun 19th Apr 20206 answers, last by Chipchopper 10:21 Mon 20th Apr 2020
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retrocop

Efficacy Of Face Masks

Now there appears to be some conflict in the efficacy of protective masks against the corvid virus. If you are convinced they may be of use, rather than deprive the NHS, why dont you make your own...
16:41 Sat 18th Apr 20202 answers, last by Zacs-Master 10:12 Mon 20th Apr 2020
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marval

No More Dancing

Paddy and Murphy are sat in the pub and the barmaid mentions that they are both getting a bit of a belly. They decide it is time for a bit of exercise. The barmaid says the best form of exercise is...
16:32 Sun 19th Apr 20203 answers, last by Chipchopper 09:41 Mon 20th Apr 2020
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Monday. It's dry outside after all the rain yesterday, I put the hedgehogs food under the table again to keep it dry, it's all gone. Tiggy towers is still occupied. I've no idea what today will bring,...
04:36 Mon 20th Apr 202094 answers, last by rowanwitch 08:53 Mon 20th Apr 2020

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