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Chipchopper

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hellywelly4

Cat Proofing A Blue Tit Box

I have CCTV and have found that my neighbour's cat has taken to sitting below my blue tit box for long periods just looking at it. I thought last year that the box had been attacked as it went 'wonky'...
14:02 Wed 22nd Jan 20204 answers, last by hellywelly4 18:59 Wed 22nd Jan 2020
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ToraToraTora

Aa Man....

I saw an AA man the other day in his tow truck sitting at the wheel, sobbing. I thought to myself, that guy's heading for a breakdown .
17:15 Wed 22nd Jan 20206 answers, last by Theland 18:27 Wed 22nd Jan 2020
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retrocop

No Prizes To Guess The Title

http://www.upl.co/upload/o3Uf4Qj5P...
16:37 Wed 22nd Jan 20206 answers, last by Patsy33 17:59 Wed 22nd Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Detained

As an aspiring actor, I was somewhat surprised when I got detained by airport security today... All I said was that I was in town to shoot a pilot......
22:22 Tue 21st Jan 20209 answers, last by Patsy33 17:24 Wed 22nd Jan 2020
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marval

I Hope

Harry, after his retirement volunteered to entertain patients in hospitals. He would go from one hospital to another in the city and always carried his guitar with him. He would crack jokes and would...
19:21 Tue 21st Jan 20204 answers, last by Chipchopper 23:37 Tue 21st Jan 2020
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Chipchopper

Duvet Dilemma

My continental quilt has become bunched up and patchy (man made fibers) will dry cleaning restore the restore it to its original condition, or is it time to replace it with a new one ?
12:38 Tue 21st Jan 202014 answers, last by TonyV 09:42 Thu 23rd Jan 2020
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Chipchopper

At The Hardware Store

I was in an old fashioned type hardware store, the kind that sells fork 'andles and stuff. I asked the man behind the counter, if he had any sand paper. He said: "might have might not, have you tried...
13:00 Tue 21st Jan 202012 answers, last by Chipchopper 17:23 Tue 21st Jan 2020
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jennyjoan

Garden

Have just had my neighbour in to talk about replacing my garden with flags per se. He has said it is a big enough job as garden needs to be dug up, screed and all the other gardening terms then the...
15:44 Tue 21st Jan 202027 answers, last by woofgang 00:07 Wed 22nd Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Trial

A perpetual criminal offender is brought to the court house for trial. However the judge is a duck wearing robes and a powdered wig . The criminal is incensed, he shouts out "I will not be judged by a...
23:52 Sun 19th Jan 202023 answers, last by Chipchopper 22:18 Mon 20th Jan 2020
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Chipchopper

Lesser Celandine Plants

A sea of gold, well that's my vision. Anyone have any tips on getting these plants established in my wildlife garden ? TIA....
09:17 Tue 14th Jan 202012 answers, last by Chipchopper 21:10 Mon 20th Jan 2020
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Chipchopper

On The Street

I was walking down the high street today and I saw this man outside the post office, who had no toes, for some reason I didn't like the look of him, so I crossed over the road. This played on my mind...
21:56 Sat 18th Jan 202011 answers, last by shoota 22:46 Sun 19th Jan 2020
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Chipchopper

Welsh Cakes

Hot or cold ?. How do you prefer them and when ?...
10:39 Sun 19th Jan 202015 answers, last by retrocop 14:26 Sun 19th Jan 2020
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Groupie

There's A Nudist Convention Going On In Our Town Next Week.

I might go if I have nothing on..
11:53 Sat 18th Jan 20207 answers, last by Chipchopper 18:18 Sat 18th Jan 2020
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Bazile

Why Dont They Collide

I was watching a nature programme last night on one of the documentary channels . They showed a flock of millions of birds, flying in extremely close proximity to each other , often suddenly changing...
14:37 Wed 08th Jan 202016 answers, last by Chipchopper 20:05 Fri 17th Jan 2020
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Chipchopper

Every Little Bit Helps

I bought a pie the other day, it was in a cardboard box which had a small viewing window on top of the box. Wording on the box informed me that the window was made out of wood pulp. So why on earth...
15:34 Fri 17th Jan 202012 answers, last by ludwig 16:51 Fri 17th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Gin

My partner reckons I drink too much Gin. This came as a bit of a shock. I didn’t even realise I had a partner....
22:30 Thu 16th Jan 202012 answers, last by Patsy33 00:52 Fri 17th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Cruise Ship

Two old men are sitting on the deck of a cruise ship. The first one asks, “Have you read Marx?” The other one replies, “Yes. I believe that comes from sitting on these wicker chairs.”...
19:06 Thu 16th Jan 20206 answers, last by Patsy33 00:11 Fri 17th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Accusations..

My partner got onto me the other day, claiming I spent too much time moistening food while cooking Thinking the accusations as ridiculous, I asked: "Baste on what?"...
18:26 Wed 15th Jan 20208 answers, last by Chipchopper 18:44 Thu 16th Jan 2020
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Bazile

Slimming Club

I went to my slimming club yesterday The lady said - '' do you want to take your watch off first , before weighing yourself ''? ''No '' - i said - '' i will save that for a bad day ''...
15:57 Thu 16th Jan 20206 answers, last by Chipchopper 18:23 Thu 16th Jan 2020
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Wednesday. It's a lot calmer today, the wind has dropped for starters. I've got a fence panel blown out, split down the middle, that will have to be sorted out today. A mega shoplifting sortie to be...
06:22 Wed 15th Jan 202091 answers, last by DTCwordfan 09:33 Wed 15th Jan 2020

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