Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best. The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey didn't have...
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade...
For some people the only puns they make are about dairy products, because the rest are just too cheesy. When they think of one, they tend to milk it for all it's worth. Usually I don't think they're...
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners...
My mum used to recite a version and there was a song made of it, but for those who've never heard of it, I present for your education, a version of The Cockney Alphabet: A for Horses B for Mutton C...
News is coming in of a group of sticky-fingered thieves who apparently get a buzz out of breaking into a bee-keeper's yard and stealing the honey. Police are organizing a sting operation to catch them...
Anatomy - something that everybody has but somehow looks better on a girl > Bachelor - a fellow that can take women or leave them, and prefers to do both. > Mistress - something between a mister...
Anatomy - something that everybody has but somehow looks better on a girl > Bachelor - a fellow that can take women or leave them, and prefers to do both. > Mistress - something between a mister...
Q: What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? A: Bacon and legs! > > > > > Confuscious, he say, "Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground. "
At the pet shop I saw a parrot painting a picture with a brush held in its beak. "That's clever," I said. "Oh, it's only a politician," was the reply. > > > > > > Our vicar loves...
I want to buy my wife a digital camera. She liked the look of one in Tescos. I have searched on the net and found it: Samsung S1060 at ?129 http://direct.tesco.com/q/R.205-3982.aspx But I have also...
At the field athletics championships, a man picked up a steel ball on a length of chain and started eating it. "What's all that about?" I asked. "Ignore him, he's only a hammer chewer," was the reply.
I went to work for a newspaper and was surprised when a man rushed in brandishing a rolled up newspaper and proceeded to strike the office workers about the head before rushing out. "What's all that...
Two Mexicans have been lost in the desert for weeks. At death's door, they see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer, they see that it's draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon: smoked bacon;...
One entrepreneur says to another: "I've just been in the Far East prospecting for gold." "Japan?" asks the second entrepreneur. "Gosh, no," he replies. "I used much more scientific methods."
1. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 2. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 3. The teacher confiscated a catapult in the...
Inpatient - Tired of waiting Intern - One after another Intestine - Currently taking an exam Jaundice: To include in a group Kinaesthetics: Relationships among relatives Leper: A wild cat Malaria:...
Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when...
