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Garaman

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Patsy33

Relationship

In my last relationship, I hated being treated like a piece of meat. He was a vegan and refused to touch me" -...
13:17 Mon 20th Aug 20182 answers, last by Spicerack 20:21 Tue 21st Aug 2018
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Patsy33

Nasty Bike!

I’m always getting run over by the same bike, same day every month, same place, month after month... It's a seriously vicious cycle....
15:18 Tue 29th May 201811 answers, last by Patsy33 17:11 Tue 29th May 2018
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Voltage

Cocaine!

I brought some cocaine from Limerick, but I was annoyed that the third and fourth lines were shorter than the others.
17:15 Tue 10th Apr 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 08:30 Wed 11th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Push-Up Bra!

What have a push-up bra and a bag of crisps got in common? Once you open it, you realise it's half-empty....
10:22 Sat 31st Mar 20185 answers, last by Hopkirk 20:31 Mon 02nd Apr 2018
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Patsy33

Doctor Please Hurry

"Doctor, please hurry. My husband swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."...
15:19 Thu 29th Mar 201825 answers, last by LarryARuble 06:16 Sat 23rd Jun 2018
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Patsy33

In My Bed

As I was laying in my bed last night, looking up at the lovely bright full moon and stars, I suddenly thought to myself, "Where the hell has my roof gone?!"...
12:02 Mon 19th Mar 201813 answers, last by spathiphyllum 17:07 Mon 19th Mar 2018
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Shaglene

The Phone Call............

A woman and a man are lying in bed next to each other when her phone rings. She picks up, the man looks over at her and listens. She is speaking in a cheery voice, "Hi, I'm so glad you called. Really?...
12:00 Mon 12th Mar 20187 answers, last by marval 16:39 Mon 12th Mar 2018
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sandmaster

New Radiators

We are modernising our house. Friends tell me modern radiators give out more heat than the old pressed steel radiators from the 70s that we have. I wonder what the experiences of fellow Answerbank...
06:43 Mon 12th Mar 20185 answers, last by sandmaster 08:03 Tue 13th Mar 2018
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vetuste_ennemi

Hedy Lamarr And Wi-Fi: On Cnn!

CNN's courageous (i.e. totally conventional) reporter Christiane Amanpour (didn't you love her on Brexit night?) discussing a real woman. Fans of the Listener will know Ms Lamarr because she was a...
03:18 Sun 11th Mar 20189 answers, last by vetuste_ennemi 15:21 Sun 11th Mar 2018
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Spicerack

Labour Party News. Sigh

A bit of light hearted news for you. https://theworldnews.net/gb-news/labour-is-calling-for-a-tax-on-self-service-checkouts-for-robbing-till-workers-of-their-jobs (or does anyone agree with them?)...
15:07 Sat 10th Mar 201836 answers, last by Jackdaw33 08:33 Sun 11th Mar 2018
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Patsy33

I'm Looking

I’m looking for some good fish jokes. - If you know any, let minnow.....
12:45 Sat 03rd Mar 201862 answers, last by Shaglene 10:10 Sun 04th Mar 2018
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Chipchopper

Its Just, Crazy On The Roads!!

This morning, I had to overtake a lorry and wave him down. I shouted to him "you're losing your load mate! He wasn't happy and shouted back "I'm gritting, you idiot!!...
09:37 Wed 28th Feb 20187 answers, last by Patsy33 13:24 Wed 28th Feb 2018
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sunny-dave

Kfc - A Solution For The Desperate

https://tinyurl.com/y8z63pk7...
13:49 Wed 21st Feb 201810 answers, last by Garaman 20:45 Wed 21st Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Farmers

Why do they always put the gate in the muddiest part of the field ?
20:07 Fri 16th Feb 201818 answers, last by Patsy33 10:10 Sat 17th Feb 2018
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spathiphyllum

If Anyone...

If anyone else makes a bad joke about 'tossing' on Pancake Day, I will batter them.
10:40 Tue 13th Feb 201812 answers, last by Spicerack 19:32 Wed 14th Feb 2018
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Patsy33

Selfish

My mate is so selfish. Everything is "Mine, Mine,Mine" Honestly, its the pits!.......
17:28 Mon 29th Jan 201815 answers, last by Tilly2 20:05 Mon 29th Jan 2018
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vernonk

Buying Trainers

When you buy trainers, is it okay if they feel tight when you try them on - will they give with time? Or if they start tight will they stay tight, and is a best to buy a size bigger?
17:57 Sun 28th Jan 20189 answers, last by jno 11:52 Mon 29th Jan 2018
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Patsy33

Grandad

So Grandad walked into the room with his tackle out, smothered in boot polish, bless him, he mis-heard when we told him to turn his clock back....
19:39 Fri 08th Sep 20173 answers, last by Garaman 10:47 Sat 09th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

Trying

Trying to figure out the reason why I have such difficulty with operating my doorbell. I just can’t put my finger on it....
08:58 Thu 07th Sep 201715 answers, last by jno 10:05 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

My Friend

my friend died in hospital last week cos we couldn't remember his blood type..."be positive"...."be positive" he kept saying,but its hard without him...
10:14 Wed 06th Sep 20175 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 12:21 Wed 06th Sep 2017

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