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Hymie

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Hymie

A man walks into a bar

‘Can I have a pint of Less, please?’ he asks. ‘I’m sorry sir’ the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled. ‘I’ve not come across that one before – it...
16:45 Sun 18th Dec 20112 answers, last by NogelTheViking 16:47 Sun 18th Dec 2011
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Hymie

Satisfying your wife (in bed)

A young man explained to his doctor that he had not been able to satisfy his wife in bed for many months, which was causing a strain in their marriage. His doctor sent him along to see a big black man...
16:45 Sat 17th Dec 201113 answers, last by maggiebee 23:11 Sat 17th Dec 2011
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Hymie

Yet another Blonde Joke

A ventriloquist was mid-way through his act (which was going down well with the audience), when he started on ‘blonde jokes’ material. Within a short while, a blond woman in the audience...
17:57 Wed 14th Dec 2011
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Hymie

What is a Shih Tzu?

A zoo with no animals.
21:09 Mon 03rd Oct 20118 answers, last by Starbuckone 22:51 Mon 03rd Oct 2011
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Hymie

Frog – part 2

An old woman is walking along the road when she happens upon a frog. ‘Excuse me, Miss’, says the frog. ‘If you give me a kiss I’ll turn into a George Clooney look-alike and...
18:15 Wed 07th Sep 2011
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Hymie

Divorce Court

Judge: ‘Mr. Smith, I’m awarding your ex wife £2,000 a month in maintenance.’ Mr. Smith: ‘Thank you, that’s very generous of you – as her ex husband,...
22:01 Fri 26th Aug 20111 answer, last by Count-A-Strong 09:07 Sat 27th Aug 2011
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Hymie

From where are the Libyan rebels getting their arms?

Watching the images of the conflict in Libya, I was wondering from precisely where are the rebels obtaining their arms. These arms include sophisticated rocket launch systems (admittedly mounted on a...
20:28 Fri 26th Aug 201114 answers, last by keyplus90 09:35 Sun 28th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Country Girl

A young girl was pulling a cow along a country lane, using a rope. A passer-by, seeing that she was struggling to control the beast, asked where she was going with the animal. The young girl replied...
20:07 Sun 21st Aug 20112 answers, last by wildwood 00:05 Mon 22nd Aug 2011
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Hymie

Is it possible for a man to make a fool of himself and not Know?

Not if he has a wife.
18:39 Sat 20th Aug 2011
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Hymie

The Naked Truth

Last night, standing naked in the bedroom in front of a full-length mirror – admiring my manhood; I said to my other half ‘Two inches more and I’d be a King.’ She retorted...
19:25 Wed 17th Aug 20113 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 19:32 Wed 17th Aug 2011
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Hymie

A cautionary tale for all teenage daughters

Daughter: ‘Mum, did you ever have sex when you were my age?’ Mother: ‘Unfortunately I did – and let that be a lesson to you.’ Daughter: ‘Why, what happened?’...
20:28 Tue 16th Aug 20112 answers, last by sallabananas 12:24 Thu 18th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Dating Advice

♂ - ‘My friend fancies you.’ ♀ - ‘Well, just keep your friend in his underpants, out of trouble.’...
20:00 Tue 16th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Two People On A Crowded Train

A young woman boarded a crowded train and asked a man sitting down whether she could have his seat because she was pregnant. Being a gentleman, the man obliged immediately and gave her his seat. After...
21:05 Mon 15th Aug 20111 answer, last by To-Ryscum 21:07 Mon 15th Aug 2011
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Hymie

The Male Orgasm

How do you know when a man’s had an orgasm? He’s snoring....
20:18 Mon 15th Aug 201110 answers, last by venator 22:54 Mon 15th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Robbing Bastards

http://www.dailymail....st-shoppers-270m.html Besides insurance companies crying in their beer at inflation busting premium increases, year on year – this is the other perennial news story that...
16:49 Thu 11th Aug 2011
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Hymie

The Pirates of Penzance

Two pirates, who had not seen each other for some time, met up in The Black Spot pub. Since they had last met – one pirate had lost his right hand and was wearing a patch over his left eye. The...
20:31 Wed 10th Aug 20112 answers, last by RATTER15 21:05 Wed 10th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Japanese Visitor

Today, returning from lunch with a colleague visiting from Japan – a small group of female staff were standing around the entrance to the office, taking a cigarette break. Observing the group of...
20:38 Mon 08th Aug 20111 answer, last by boxtops 06:14 Tue 09th Aug 2011
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Hymie

Convenience Store Sign

In God We Trust – All others pay cash.
19:45 Mon 01st Aug 2011
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Hymie

Alcohol – bad for your health

‘Alcohol is a dreadful thing,’ said Bob. ‘It’s bad for the health – do you know it killed my first wife?’ ‘No, how dreadful it must have been,’ said...
19:12 Thu 28th Jul 20111 answer, last by marval 21:17 Thu 28th Jul 2011
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Hymie

Judge 2

‘Before I pass sentence on you – have you anything to say?’ ‘F*ck all’ came the reply. The judge turned to one of the court officials and said ‘I didn’t hear...
21:27 Wed 27th Jul 20113 answers, last by plautus 21:38 Wed 27th Jul 2011

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