maggiebee Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Dip Stick

I took a dip in my local swimming pool today. The lifeguard asked me, "What's that you've got there?". "Hummus". Sorry, worst joke ever ;)...

Tilly2

Is It Too Hot In Your Garden?

I've spent the last hour and a half in the garden. It's south facing and too hot at this time of day. I'll go out again later when it's cooled down a bit. Is your garden a sun trap?...

Eve

Milk - Skimmed Or Semi Skimmed?

I was chatting to someone the other day who said that skimmed milk is a bit of a con as, although it is lower in fat than semi-skimmed milk, they ramp up the sugar content to make it taste better. I...

whiskeryron

Jokes As Old As The Hills

Did you hear about the Barmaid who pulled the wrong knob & got stout ? My ex girlfriend's address Miss Mary Likes The Old Cock Inn Tillett Herts. There was an old man of Devizes Who was brought up...

lankeela

Just Seen The First One Of The Season

Took the dogs over the airfield and there it was, floating gracefully across the wide blue sky, with just the occasional puff puff as it passed overhead. Another one flew by a short time later and...

horseshoes

Storing Daffodil Bulbs

Every year I try and fail to store my daffodil bulbs. I read somewhere, but typically can't remember, about storing the dry bulbs in brown paper bags. Do any of you know of this method?...

boxtops

List 5 Negatives....

Further to NoM's thread about your good points - what are the baddies which you'll own up to? Mine are: 1. I'm not remotely houseproud - I like things to be nice, but untidiness and fluff don't bother...

marval

Annoyed Commuter

This is a letter sent by a commuter to London Midland Railway Company, regarding their services. Dear Sir, I have been travelling on your trains daily for the last twenty-two years, and the service on...

Jemisa

Bad Pains...

I’d been suffering from really bad pains in my bum and my mate recommended I shove tea leaves up my @rse cos her Gran said it works., & do it three times a day, as I found creams were useless. I did...

desktop

Totally Fed Up

been arguing all night really miserable as mr d in a right mood shouting balling at me calling me a bitch; imbaseal; and comments about my late mother etc really upset just cause I haven't got a job....

carrust

They're Hatching

http://efm.dept.shef.ac.uk/peregrine/...

gness

Oh Almost Forgot This!

And Ann isn't around with her little book but... Happy Birthday Eccles...if you look in.... Love Gx...

bibblebub

Will Wigan Survive?

And if they do which other team will be relegated from the Premier League? I didn't think that they'd escape again this season but they're getting results as the season comes to an end. I reckon that...

ooodles

Okeey

Seriously then. I am not really 87 I did tell a little bit of a fib there and I am not really 67. Can you guess my age?...

Togo30

Blackheads Help!

I just went to get some tissue and was looking in the mirror and my nose is covered in blackheads! Any cheap tips to help them disappear?...

nungate

Mad Over Fifties Club

Greetings Earthlings, we come in pea........................ooops! Sorry wrong thread! Good evening and welcome to Nungate Towers for this evening's meeting of the Mad Over Fifites Club. On the hot...

jollyroger66

Films

nothing in an attempt

Peasblossom

Pub Names

7 Bob or Dave encouraged Gerry along (6) 8 Severe Prance (12) 37 these show NEWS (9) 38 Kegs of beer after confused animal (3,7) 39 Worth a pound (9) Any help gratefully appreciated...

Jemisa

The Carnal Test....

Three couples wanted to be admitted into a new church. One was an elderly couple, one was a middle-aged couple, and one was a young couple. The priest said, "Well, the only way you can get into my...

Sammy48

Queen

Watching on BBC4. Brilliant.

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