When Jean-Luc Picard had some spare time from the Starship Enterprise, he enjoyed working on his little farm. Some of the equipment was old and poorly maintained. He had huge problems getting the seed...
Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an...
A husband and wife had a fight. The wife called her mother. "He fought with me again," she said. "I am coming to stay with you." Her Mother said, "No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to...
A drunk stumbled out the door of the bar. He stood on the corner waiting for the lights to change. His wife calls and asks if he is drunk. The man replies, "Of course not!" Being suspicious that he is...
A man was sitting at a bar in London, and ordered a drink. "So, who are you?", asked the bartender. "I'm a danceologist. I've studied every dance in the entirety of Oceania". "Even the Wingo Wango?"...
(To the tune of "Good King Wenceslas) Christmas morning down the pub Getting drunk and perky While the missus stays at home Trying to cook the turkey Got thrown out at closing time Head in need of...
A company owner was asked a question.
"How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled and replied.
"It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces....
My neighbour was working in his garden when he was startled by an old car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn. He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car...
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she could not take it any longer, and told him,...
Getting older, as we do, and doing things as we get older, I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. As I passed through the kitchen, I happened to look out through the rear windows. I...
A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he decides to test this theory. He convenes all the couples he can find at a special seminar. He then starts by...
A woman walks into Dr Sqad's surgery but doesn't like the way he's looking at her. When he tells her to undress, she asks him to turn out the lights before she disrobes. After he turns out the lights...
A teacher asked her students to write the words to their favourite Christmas Carols. She probably got fired for mentioning Christmas in school. Anyway here are some of the humorous lines she received:...
