Bill’s second Anniversary was coming up and if there was one thing that got his wife Suzy upset, it was not getting a thoughtful gift on a special occasion. Bill quizzed all his friends, co workers,...
A first grade teacher handed out a colouring page to her students. On it was a picture of a frog holding an umbrella. When the class handed them in, one little boy had coloured the frog bright purple....
A husband says to his wife. Darling, I have to confess to you. When I’m having sex with you, I sometimes think about other women. Oh you nasty man. When I have sex with other men, I always think...
“I went to the doctor this morning and told him I felt run down.
"‘Why do you feel like that?" he asked.
"Because, I’ve got tyre marks on my legs.” I replied....
Young Gordon was with his parents and they were taking refreshments in the bar at Reading station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover...
An irate woman burst into the baker's shop and said, "I sent my son in for two pounds of cookies this morning, but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest that you check your scales."...
One night, Murphy was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Murphy and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Murphy put up a tremendous fight. However,...
A man goes to see the Doctor and says,
"Doc, I feel as lifeless as a Welsh resort in winter."
The doctor replies, "Goodness me, it sounds like you're Rhyl."...
The nuns at a small convent were happy to learn that an anonymous donor had left his modest estate to them. Each nun had been left $50 in cash to give away as she saw fit. Each nun announced how she...
Veronica was practicing the piano when suddenly there was a loud pounding on the front door. She opened it and found a breathless cop. "What's the matter?" she asked. "Where's the body?!" demanded the...
I am going to London tomorrow
While I am there I am going to buy some relish
I was not sure where to get it
But my friend said the best place to find some is Piccalilli Circus....
A man walks into a library and says, "Have you got a book on card tricks?"
The librarian says, "Yes, pick one of these books, any book, look at it, then put it back in the pile."...
OH bought some cards from Vistaprint, all was well until I looked at one and noticed a mistake. There was a number missing off our phone number. We checked and it was OH's fault, he had put the wrong...
A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence one evening. The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred, "I'd die for you!" The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye...